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What Is Left Of Me
mInmIn
17
20th august 1989
Temasek Junior College
LOVES <3
Family
Friends
Tjc Swim Team
The special ONE
family day at wild wild wet (:
chalet with those little darlings (:
managed to get a job (:
family day at wild wild wet was fun
in that sense i managed to spend time with my parents.
and see them having fun. (:
though wild wild wet isnt that thrilling >.<
for once, i felt really relaxed (:
chalet with those little darlings (:
Indian Poker was fun.
but some of the punishment is really over.
hahas. but the guys are pretty on.
and poor darren slept on the floor.
i din noe until i woke up.
when i got to know that i got that job
i was relieved.
at least i am really doing what i like now
and felt that life was pretty more or less perfect now.
but perhaps that was just too fast a conclusion.
xuande(or rather nt him only) always says that my post are pretty depressing
but well, somehow i just have nth to blog abt those happy ths which happen
cause i dun like to describe the events one by one
but as for those events which are affecting me
the emotions are stronger i guess.
hmmmm.
he talked to me.
but i just duno how to reply.
i mean really,
if u ever know,
i am not angry at that matter.
but i really really really appreciate that u took the first step.
really appreciate.
there are alot of ths that i wish u all will know
but i just duno how to tell u all.
i cant help to admit tht there are subtle differences this time.
and i dun wish to avoid admitting to this feeling anymore.
but on a positive note,
i still believe that we are able to overcome whatever obstacles that may come along.
i know that u all mean too much to me to let go.
i duno if u all feel the same.
but i guess
well
i just duno what to say.
i cld only say all those to gurls.
to tell u all how i truly feel,
and why ths happen,
why there are misunderstandings
i guess it takes courage to say it out
and i thought i cld talk to u abt it during the chalet
but i guess things just clash and we just cant talk abt it
and perhaps that's fate.
i miss those times.
it's ironic how come we are not happier (or is it just me) when we do not have studies as a burden.
what exactly went wrong.
i am feeling less confident now.
i feel like abandoning what i have done.
i no longer has the confident to say it out.
somehow, i realised we are still that distant afterall.
and xuande will say abt me again.
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i don't even know if i am pissed or what
but just
somehow i just make myself realise
that all along that feeling is right
we are different
there are subtle differences that could never be iron out
that's it
i give up
i dun wish to talk further
those words which i told you jokingly
it came right from the bottom of my heart
but u just took it so lightly
i see no pt anymore
i feel like a barbie doll
just a disposable object
i am just disappointed
and verena just told me that all long she felt that i am the only child
cause i nv mentioned anyth abt my sibling
i cant help but to realise
yeah that's right
we seldom talk
our world is that different.
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WHEE~ as what carol said, i am very high now. lols. tralalala. i feel like i am in some lala land. hahas. it really feels like a dream. it's like everyth is falling into place and it's a great chance and stuff. but i am still pondering. i mean i duno larhs.
anyway, support singapore2010! hahas. i feel like i am like huiyi. but must support YOG!!! i hope the ideas which i have thought of could work >.< hahas.
lalala. i m really very happy!!!!! whee~~~~~~~~~~
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it's back to swimming again (:
training (:
i am satisfied and am proud of myself
first intensive training
and i made it through (:
4.1km.
satisfying.
i really wanna get into IVP. but it's pretty difficult. their timings for long dist is pretty fast. pretty hard to cut that much second per lap. but well, even if there isnt any IVP, training hard just rocks.
my legs are so tired from all the shopping.
the guys were really patient to shop with us.
thank you and loves! (:
this is the life i have been waiting for.
yahs.
it feels really good that u dun have to hit the books again.
but i dun really like going out.
it's pretty tiring.
i promised myself that i will look for you after As
but i dun have the courage to make the initiative.
it just feels weird.
ke shi ni dui wo de hao,
wo bu ceng wang diao.
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Whee~ i am blogging late in the night again. it seems that i love to blog in the night. LOLs. but anyway, i wanted to slp in the noon! after the swim at bedok! i love chlorine! and i finally did a 800m swim! like finally since i think nats since i did a long d swim.
there was this guy in front of me who was dd a long d swim. Lols. i was wondering if i shld chiong to catch up with me. LOLs. but well, in the end, i decided that he shall jus pace me. hahas.
then, just when i reached me, da xi gua called me and say got a tuition job and wants to go dwn to tgt. i was like HUH I JUST REACH HM. but well, decided to try it out.
but when i went there, i didnt have the heart to go listen abt the rates larhs. cause to me is like, when u really need me, den we talk abt it.
den there is this lift incident which was really funny. i hoped the person calls me >.<
yeah! i am finally left with ONE MCQ! hahas. LOVES! then i can do loads of ths! i want meet-ups, shopping, training, prepare for prom and also to spend time with the little darlings before they go NS!!!! LAU XIN AN, THE STUPID DOG WAS DRUNK THAT DAY! LOLS. it was really funny! and they tried to cheat my feelings. HUMPH! bleahs!
somehow this is the moment i am waiting for, but why am i not feeling that exactly excited abt it.
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wagaga. i am in love with a show now. wagaga. it's such a guilt to watch it now. when i still got three papers >.< HELP
and i love the song- beautiful love
i think that the lyrics of tanya's songs have depth. lols.
anyway, i have been thinking alot. there are alot of ths i want to say to alot of pple. HEAR ME PPLE!
hahas. it's the middle of the night and i am pretty high! WHEE.
i want freedom for A's. but on the other hand, i am afraid of the emo moments i will face after A's as life will be pretty empty. aiya. i duno larhs. rah.
everyone is so emo now. makes me emo. but i dun like. hahas. they are all emo-ing over LOVE? i guess. well, A's is gg to be over afterall.
i have been thinking abt.... well. well. alright. snap out of what i am now.
i realised that perhaps i shld have told u what i really felt, why i chose not to talk to u, the many misunderstandings btw us. cause i guess, the feeling is getting stronger and i am afraid that one day i may just hate you because of it.
EMO PPLE. STOP BEING EMO AND MAKE ME EMO. LOLs.
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finally the break from the many consecutive papers are here.
the countdown begins.
i want to be liberated soon,
but come to think of it, i may not get my liberation after all.
something really bad happened during this period.
but i am glad that everything is over.
at least, i got out of the mudspot.
and grew up intellectually.
thanks esp to the two people who really helped me and listened to me
without you two,
i guess i wouldnt have survived this thing which i deemed as an ordeal to go through.
things have been really tough that time
and no one really understand
except the two of them
was messaging mr loh just nw
what he said kind of made me cry.
i guess i really lacked the word "believe"
i guess i need to really believe in myself sometimes.
i miss the days when mr loh will blow the whistle and we will stand onto the plungeboard and being to jump into the pool and sprint.
i miss the days when mr loh will give us the sets and we will whine abt it and even ask for a discount
i miss the days when mr loh will ask me to go to the room at ite simei to get the clock and equipments out.
i miss the days when mr loh gives us some motivational talk..
i just miss the days when he is our teacher, our coach, our friend.
i miss nationals, i miss the pool, i miss training.
going to have a nice and good swim tmr morning with the year ones (:
and i cant wait for prom night to come. most imptly, it's the days before that we will go shopping for some prom dresses and go wooha over the gowns. lols.
sue, shu, rach tan! dun forget our date to shop tgt. hahas.
and i m pretty curious how the guys will look like.
i miss sue, shu, rachtan, glen, jiehan and ivan.miss the shopping trip that we have after prelims.
jiayou for the rest of the papers people. it's just 10 plus more days to go. (:
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