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What Is Left Of Me
mInmIn
17
20th august 1989
Temasek Junior College
LOVES <3
Family
Friends
Tjc Swim Team
The special ONE
getting the results, knowing where u went wrong, having to study the subjects which u are weak in is not easy.
LEP is driving me to the wall sometimes. why is it making me hate chinese now. i used to love chinese so much. but now, i do not see light at all in studying it. i cannot understand why must they shift the marks for the A, when it is not Singaporean students who are making the mark. it only drives Singaporean students away from taking chinese as a subject. so are we raising the standard of chinese this way?
and sorry guys for ytd. just ignore me when i am studying LEP larhs. i just feel really frustrated when i am studying it. and i meant it abt the apology. though we were kind of playing while i apologise, but yar. i really meant "sorry"
sometimes you just cant help but wonder why did u choose this path. it makes you feel that following what you love and have passion about is definitely wrong. you still have to be practical and see what are the chances of getting that distinction though u know nuts about that subject. you cant follow what you love cause the way the reality just dont allow you to. instead, it makes you hate what you used to have so much passion abt.
as for chem, i know i am whining so much to pple who are not doing as well in it. but yar. sorry. but that is chem. something that i really love and want to do well in it. but apparently, i felt that i always cldnt do well in it. duno for wad reason. but i have alr tried to get all concepts right and stuff. but still, the distinction seems so far. sighs. perhaps it's just not as mechanical as mathematics.
somehow, i realised i tend to be stubborn abt saying the word "sorry". it is only when i felt that i am really in the wrong that i will say that.
guys, do bear with me sometimes. my emotions are pretty much like a roller coaster now. sorry abt everything but i will learn to cope with my emotions.
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YEAH. the short-term freedom which i got for now (:
well, felt pretty emo since i got home. hmmm. have been thinking what i have been through for the past one month, since study break started.
to angeline, qien, dihui, sebastian
thank you thank you.
i guessed no amt of thanks can express what i really feel.
but i really thank you four for being there for me whenever i need someone.
you all just know how i feel inside out somehow.
thank you for lending me your shoulder
thank you for all those messages of " are you alright", "cheer up", "dun be so stress" and the list goes on
thank you for calling me everyday, making sure that i am alright, that i am not stress.
thank you for cheering me up when i broke down that day. i din want to break down in front of you two especially. somehow, i just dun want to cry in front of you guys.
thank you for thinking of jokes and more jokes to cheer me up, though u are stress urself.
and the list goes on...
just thank you.
i wldnt know how to smile through this period if not for you four especially
you all just stood by me throughout
these four weeks have been really tough
i guessed it's so much more stress than jct
and i duno what to expect for the next five weeks to come
but i just cant wait for everything to be over.
u all have proved me wrong that though i am the only gal among you all always, you all have tried all means to make me feel comfortable.
esp that day when you made me angry, and told me why you all wanted to make me come out and study with you all. though angry, but i am glad upon knowing the so called "motives" which you all have. thank you for knowing that i need you all to be more sensitive sometimes.
and ANGELINE, GUESS YOU ARE MUGGING HARD FOR PROMOS NOW. JIAYOU OKIES (: YEAH. AFTER OUR A'S, WE WILL GO FOR A CHALET AGAIN BEFORE THE GUYS GO NS. JIAYOU. LOVES AND DUN FALL SICK WHILE MUGGING HARD (: LOVES.
taking abt NS. i guess i will feel so odd when most of the guys go NS :( well, at least dihui dun have to go. LOLs. but i will miss the rest :(
and before the results are out, i am off to enjoy myself! woohoo!
shopping and clubbing with the swimmers tmr!
oh well, i desperately need to go for a swim. put on weight during this prelims period. :(
and went to eat durian at geylang just now. a sinful deed :( hahas. but i am really happy. and dihui and sebas, glad that everything is ok alr (: you two ah. tsk tsk.
living w/o a nice whole slp for the past two weeks have been torturous. :(
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I felt as if i cant breathe anymore.
i know that they are always there for me whenever i need emotional support.
but the tears just cant stop coming
i see no light in working so hard.
i am weakened by all the failures that i used to face
i am scared of what i am going to face.
i am tired of mugging
and reading what people are doing now weaken me further.
i know that everyone is facing what i am facing now
it's a matter of how i choose to take it
but i cant seem to take it like what they do
but still
thanks for being there for me and asking me everyday if i am alright
without you all,
i wouldnt know how to smile through this difficult and tough period
the scooby doo is on my study table
reminding me to smile even if the tears come
reminding me each and every word which u all told me
to stay strong...
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