All That I've Got

Wednesday, May 30, 2007
-12:47:00 AM-

double trainings have started. i think most are trying to hold on. i pray that all will be fine for the swimmers. sometimes, it just dun feel gd to see your teammates suffering from injuries and complaining that he/she is in pain. hang on swimmers. it's just one more month.

i haven attended a double training yet. gonna have one tmr. but... i still duno if i should rest or should i train. everyone calls me not to train as i m sick. damn irritating. it's fever last week, cold this week. and i could taste nor smell anything ytd!!!! and it's so irritating that i couldnt smell my strawberry shower gel when everyone is going huu-haa over it in the shower room. hahas. and i used up so many packets of tissue paper. so should i train? crap.

qi en is the most funny one larhs. he was like. oei. it's just jct. dun need to mug until become sick. den i was like of course not larhs. but i have trainings plus mugging. den he was like HUH DUN TRAIN. I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU DIE FROM TRAINING.
-_-|

psychometric test today was crap. but rj campus was cool. sue, shu and i peep at the swimming pool there. it makes u feel really inferior when u see their swimmers swim. >.< but i m so jealous that they have a pool.

daddy was so nice today. he bought me a shorts that cost like more than 40 bucks. diaos. i wanted a FBT one. but he bought such an ex one. sometimes i really feel that i really neglected my parents due to trainings and studies. but i duno what to do. facing stress from both sides. they expect me to do well for studies. they are so uptight and upset with the fact that my bio is failing. and i really duno how. i m so caught in btw. hais. and mummy is biased sometimes which really get up on my nerves.

and i did my PB on monday training (: finally managed to break 40s. was so shocked but happy (((: yeah!

i am really sick of this busy life
it is so hard to hang on
really tired
it gets more tough when your body keeps giving way
you asked me why m i so hard on myself
i duno why and wish to know why too
i guessed it's the expectations that i have for myself
and what people have of me
that cause me to be this way
i wish to have a simple life too
but can i have one?
it has been this way back in chung cheng and now in tj.
why do i get myself involved in all this shit.

this busy life is keeping my emotions at bay.
i try not to think of you so much anymore.
i have to put an end to it.

could you hold me tight and bring me tru this journey.

to my dearest guardian (if you reads this): sorry if i hurt you. but i really do not have the time now to commit myself. there are other people who are more worthy of you as compared to me.

_______________