All That I've Got

Thursday, March 22, 2007
-5:06:00 AM-

wow. blogging at this weird timing feels weird. hahas.

read someone's blog. it's funny how one contradicts herself. i cant really say much here. not bcos i m afraid she reads it. i know she reads anyway. but well, it's just not the right time.

anyway, i m working towards that goal of scoring As! yupp. am happy abt how motivated i m now. towards studies. currently working hard on LEP which is my weakest subject. dun ask me why. i wanna noe why too. when i really love chinese so much. hahas.

talked to chin hock so much on the bus trip ytd. i just rattle on and on when i feel strongly for something. what are we going to do abt the situation now. i mean not much time is left right. but i understand what he is feeling larhs. but really, i think it's time to really pick ourselves up and put the past behind us. isnt it. but i dun wish to burden anyone abt what i m feeling. esp someone who is unstable also.

training ytd was... hmmm.. 7 words- i m still not giving my best. i duno what's holding me back. but whenever a tough set comes, like 4 x 100m set ytd, i just feel like giving up when i m in the water. i duno why. i know it wont hurt to put in that little bit more effort, but somehow, i just cant. i may seem motivated but i m not.

and mr loh wants us to think of what to swim for nats. at a lost. what should i swim? i m pretty sick of long dist sometyms. cos the feeling of once u jump into the water, u have to complete so many laps just dun feel nice.

ultimately for nats, we are trying to fight for that placing against other schools. we are against other schools isnt it. but why do i feel that we are not. somehow. perhaps it's just cos of a few anyway. it's a competition against other schools ultimately.

mass swim later. i wanna do a time trial. it's time to face up what timing i can really hit adn hence, what events i can really qualify for. but that kind of afraid feeling just hold u back sometimes. no. i m not gg to.

can motivation be a form of medicine which i can indulge in. provide me with that someone.

i really dont wish to see another person who matters so much in my life leaving me again. i really hope that u wont get that call. cos u have always been there for me when i really needed someone to rattle to. i know that decision is for ur own good. it's abt ur future ultimately. nothing is going to hold u back. but i hope, u can stay on and walk this tedious journey with me. i am as afraid as you. but i will stand by u, no matter what ur decision is.

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