Finally, i get to eat my first fish and co just now. totally delicious. swordfish collar- filled with guilt but ironically, happiness. cos finally i can indulged in fish and co after craving for it for duno how many times, and contemplating if i should eat since it's so sinful and stuff. though sinful, no regrets for eating. =D
training today was rather alright. except for the IM sets which i din really care to put in effort. i was like an ah pek swimming the IM set.hahas. that's how Mr Fun describe swimmers when they dun put in effort. but i thought i have to do time trial for 800m- broken time trial of 8 X 100m sets. so if i swim those fly, back, breast, free, i can say byebye to my time trial.
in the end, just as my time trial draws near, the rain came!!!
mixed feelings. one part of me wanted time trial, one part of me din wan. i wouldnt deny that i m afriad to know the outcome, just as how glen was afraid of his 200m at the start of training.
as i tried to convince him to be less anxious and worrried abt his time trial, somehow something struck me hard. aint I afriad of what he is afriad of. then how could i convince him when i couldnt even convince myself. but i think more or less, he is settled after some time.
but still, somehow, as i tried to convince him, i realised that i m not convincing myself at all.
i m afriad of the water, the 800m race, the pulling, the freestyle stroke, most imptly, i cant win this war against myself.
CRAP.
anyway, we have come up with a nick- " we quarrel, we fight, but still we unite" cool. hahas.
cos glen kind of make me angry during wed training. so i decided not to talk to him since wed. hahas. managed to do it till when i saw how anxious he was for his time trial. den as swimmers were enjoying biscuits while waiting for the rain to stop, i decided end this stupid war. hahas. so i gave him a biscuit and tada, the nick came in. super hilarious when everyone heard it. but it's pretty cool isnt it. hahas.
it boils down to, what do i really hope to achieve and can i?
just as i tried to convince u, i realised i cant even convince myself.
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