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What Is Left Of Me
mInmIn
17
20th august 1989
Temasek Junior College
LOVES <3
Family
Friends
Tjc Swim Team
The special ONE
felt so drained after this week. it's like i m practically staying back after school EVERYDAY and have so many things to do. wad's worse. there are THREE tests next week. like wth. cant they spread it out. damn stressed. and my weekends are kind of busy.
have been in a dilemma on whether to continue with H3 chem. i mean i really enjoyed the lessons. it's really really interesting. but i really have no time if i continue taking it. and i m sure gonna compromise my H2s cos of it. it's not that it has alot of tutorials to be completed, but the fact that it makes my hrs in school VERY LONG. i duno. i made so much effort just to be able to take it. and now. i duno how. HAIZ. i dread march coming. cause it means that i really have to make a decision on whether to carry on taking it or not.
din really have much training this week as mon has H3 and wed distributing flyers. it was quite fun. =) hmmm. time with the swimmers are like getting lesser cause of the many commitments that each of us have. today's training motivated me alot i would say. but i duno why. i felt really tired during the run. it's like, somehow i dun have the energy to run at all. and "stitch" sucks like hell. but was proud that yeah. ran ten rounds round the track in a day. if not for the stupid rain in the morning, could have ran more.
really surprised at how things have turned out since school reopens. am really glad that we are back together, having fun, mugging together, discussing homework together and the many more things. i hoped that things would stay this way. i guessed that it was really wrong on my side to neglect you all. alright. i will not pangseh u all so much anymore. but not exactly pangseh. but well, like leave u all aside and went away with others i guess.
my arms are aching.
STRESSED. HAIZ.
i have like a zillion and one things to do. and being someone with short term memory, i really cant remember so many things and my time is really limited.
the stupid CIP thing is getting on my nerves. it's like the library dun respond at all. and they refer me to some stupid shit helpline when i actually have already given them my request. and they dun bother to make sure that there is space for us to do CIP.
sometimes, i m given so much tasks to do that i really forgot everything.
i m tired. but still trying to fight on.
dilemma. what exactly are my goals? will i be going after something impossible?
i m tired of talking. jus feel like shutting up.
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JIAYOU PPLE.
the reason that i m staying on is motivating me. yupp. i MUST and WILL work doubly hard. even how hard it is. =)
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JIAYOU PPLE.
the reason that i m staying on is motivating me. yupp. i MUST and WILL work doubly hard. even how hard it is. =)
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too emotional.
too irrationale.
too dramatic.
too bothered by things that may not matter.
not focusing on what should be done.
too bothered by someone.
demoralised.
frustrated.
irritated.
worried. emotional. depressed. regrets.
unable to come to a decision.
mixed feelings.
i hate that feeling of liking someone and willing to do so many things for that someone when it's not worth it at all.
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School has started for three days. could feel the pressure building up as each day passed by. sighs.
Station master with huiting on the second day of school. time passed pretty quickly. hahas. and i was enjoying my cha2 guan3 when the first og came. the year ones are pretty enthu as compared to our batch. and seeing them go through orientation brings back so many memories, esp with the "Royalties" clique. i still miss u all!!!
got to know that i was selected for LEP H3 ytd. GRR. what's the point of taking a H3 for a subject that i am already trying to cope with its H2 syllabus. i m just not going to take it. haven't been able to find the VPs or peng lao shi to tell them that i don't want it. sighs. but i got a gut feeling that i would have to take it in the end. whatever. i will just drop it somewhere in the year. i m not going to waste my time on a sub that i have no interest in at all. NOT EVEN A BIT OF INTEREST TO TALK ABOUT. i love chinese, but not LEP, and moreover, not the H3 syllabus.
cha2 guan3 is pretty interesting. but it took me pretty long to figure out what exactly is it taking about. why cant teachers give us a notes on all the background info cum chinese history that we have to know before making us read the text. LEP could be made much easier when we know chinese history. i think the syllabus for LEP should include a section of chinese history. things would be much easier this way. sadly, background info is assumed to be in our minds somehow.
Fashion show for the swim team ytd was alright i guessed. i duno. hahas. received different comments regarding it. but the guys' part was really hilarious.
someone called me on thurs which i chose not to pick up. the call came while i was taking my nap. normally i would pick it up. or rather i expect myself to jump at that call when i saw the name. but apparently, i chose to miss it and did not return the call after i woke up. i duno why m i reacting this way. i thought i have always wanted that person to call me but apparently, now, i dont. i duno why. perhaps i dun have that special feeling to talk about anymore. and somehow, i guessed, things would be better this way?
pretty satisfied with the things which i did today. =) though i got really frustrated halfway.
the venue for ivan's party could not be fixed. sorry about the function room thing. argh. hope glen could get the function room. if not, perhaps i shall go and find robin to help. hmmm.
i m pretty scared of facing that kind of failure. i spent so much time on it. i hoped things are still the same. i duno. i m really scared. kept thinking about it. hoping that i could find an answer to it soon.
hmmm. shall go read cha2 guan3 stuff again. yawns. so many political stuff. chim-mi-lo-gy.
and hope that those around me who are going through serious mood swings could cheer up =) i m always here for u!
and those who are sick could get well soon!(*hint hint* to huiting who refuses to see a doc though she felt like vomiting for four days and have no appetite for these days. tsk tsk.)
AND the most demoralising thing this week is: i couldnt lose any weight!! and i duno why. >.< sobs.
independence come with growing up.
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bade farewell to year 2006. this year, i would say, it's the most fruitful year in my 17yrs of life. i experienced and tried out many new things that i have never dared to in the past. year 2006, a year which i lived my life like never before.
i really enjoyed this year to the fullest. i m no longer a mugger like in cchms. managed to juggle btw work and play. i wouldnt say i did it really well judging from my promos results. but i m proud to say that at least i manage to make the best out of both worlds.
and i have never imagined to be in a swim team when year 2006 starts. ok. the achievement which i was really proud of in year 2006 is my weight loss. i hoped i wont gain back. and working to my ideal. as wad i told rach, once i reached my ideal, i wld treat her to someth. i guessed that day would be the happiest day of my life. that is only when i reached my ideal. one year of losing weight and more to come. thanks to those who encouraged me along the way, esp sue.
there were alot of ups and downs this year. relationships. i forged alot of new friendships but lost some along the way. which we have yet to have a talk about.
adaptations. entering tjc was a totally new experience. having to adapt to the different environment and the different people. at the start, i was quite pessismistic about it even b4 sch reopens. but gradually, i managed to look at things with different perspective and finally managed to lead that kind of life which i have always wanted to.
as for the complicated emotions which i have this year, shan't elaborate on it.
many thoughts. too many to write it down. so here are the photos. it's ALOT. hahas.
it began with the NYE 2005 Countdown at marche and esplanade with huiyi, xuande, chun, daniel and edwin.
a good start to the year with fireworks~
den it was the first three months in tj with former 2406. the many memories.
IXODUS ROCK ON!
The outing after we knew where each of us wld be headed to, who would be leaving tj, who would be staying on.
the FIDEL CASTRO skit which we worked so hard for.
clique outing day.the overnight stay at airport. we enjoyed ourselves in the airport. the laughters. the noises we made. memorable.
the birthdays former cg24/06 celebrated together
the bday of wu gui and he ma celebrated by the pool. the bbq. the pushing of he ma into the water. hahas.
CG24/06
the birthday which goldfish planned for me. thanks alot.
neoprints took with goldfish on 19/08/06. u made me felt really touched
the people who spent the first second of my 17 year old with me. thanks alot.
i have always wanted to know the reason why things turned out this way. but apparently, it seems that things have changed. i m hoping that we could face the problems one day.
the sentosa trip which ray wanted so much b4 olevels. yeah. we had fun. but. still. i dun understand alot of things. i jus hope that we could have a talk.
the june camp of tjc swim team in which many things happened. still, i missed the camp. the training maybe tough. but we endured it through. and that sentence told by someone will be forever etched in my mind. jiayou for next year nats!
the competition which we worked so hard for. *nationals 2006*
water is my life! =)
victory dinner after nationals!
the thailand trip which i din blog about in the end. thailand trip with papa and mama. it was alright. but there were alot of ups and downs which well, kind of make me dun feel like going thailand anymore.
the dunking donuts which i bought for the swimmers from thailand. hoped they like it!
see the brown colour shirt in this pic? i tink guys wld be pretty handsome dressing up in that shirt. hahas. it was being spotted in thailand during my trip.
first shopping trip with my darlings. shuqi aka jack aka rose is not in the pic though. felt really blessed to meet them in the swim team. really glad to know them. the many moments which we had together. the many crazy things we did. the many heart to heart talks we shared. and of course many more. thanks for brightening up my life.
first time going clubbing. went with the swimmers. all of us except sue did not bring our IC along!!!! went home to get IC and went back to MOS again. hahas. we started partying at 10pm when we actually reached there at 7 plus. jus cos we forgt our IC. hahas. it was fun out with the swimmers till the next morning. it's the company that matters. =)
i couldnt upload pics about this "event" which we went for some reasons. =X though i really wanted to upload the pics, but better be on the safe side. it was a first time experience for everyone. thanks to that someone for giving us this experience. =) i miss that day man!
the friendship which withstood the test of time. we celebrated our bdays together this year. WE MUST CELEBRATE TOGETHER EVERY YEAR OK? though we may not have the tym to meet up often, but u all know how much our friendship stands. =) 5 years of friendship, linked by a simple dream.
celebrated mummy's birthday! yeah! whole family photo!
handsome papa in bangkok =D
the chinatown in bangkok
on the plane leaving singapore for bangkok. i miss that feeling.
kaiting's chalet. yeah. met up with the cchms pple. and of course the beloved teachers aka mr lee and huang lao shi!
kbox session after watching cdc drama performance! ah! CDC!!!
and the cycle repeats, with 2006 NYE countdown at esplanade. same venue. providing a few snapshots below. hahas. will blog about it soon. a really memorable countdown with huiyi, huiwen, xuande and hanxing. thanks for making my day. u guys rocks.
huiwen taking photos for us! enjoyed the dinner at vila'ge. pls xuande. it's VILA'GE not BER-LA-J. when huiyi and i saw the message, we totally pengz and LOL.
huiwen closes her eyes when taking pic >.<
the four of us at marina sq! this pic is damn nice can. SWEET.
and 2006 ended. with fireworks to start off year 2007.
my goals for 2007:
1) to mug hard. i want the As for my A levels.
2) to try not to compromise my social life cos of studies.
3) to reach my ideal weight.
4) to stay happy.
=)
i could only think of those aims for now.
hols are ending and sch reopens. no matter how much i dread it. things are going to happen anyway. but i really hope that this year wouldnt be so stressful and hope when i blog about year 2007 on jan 1 2008, it wld be an even more fruitful year!
live life to the fullest!
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