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What Is Left Of Me
mInmIn
17
20th august 1989
Temasek Junior College
LOVES <3
Family
Friends
Tjc Swim Team
The special ONE
i met her today. but we have nth to say to each other. but deep in my heart, i wanna say, " gal, i still cherish this friendship" but currently my schedule is quite packed and uncertain. so i really duno when i cld date her out. hais.
i love my PW members more and more. actually i m glad to have these PW members with me this year. all r v cooperative and crappy. hahs. but yeah. gonna bear with my mood sumtimes. sorry! but i look forward to the END OF OP. and the vege meal after that. hees.
yeah! work starts tmr. i m kinda excited. but scared too. hopes everyth turns out well tmr.
i ate a heavy dinner today. well. i have been surviving on bread only for the past few days. cant resist the temptations anymore. opps. i guessed i will put on weight again. >.<
cld we have more trainings. den my weight wld decrease. yay! hees.
and really sorry to jy. as i withdraw from the sports leadership camp. cos my parents dun approve of me gg to Bintam. sorry. argh. i really forgt. sorry.
gym tmr! but i dun like the buildup of muscle mass. it's v heavy. >.<
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finally i m done with changing my blogskin and i shall blog.
this few weeks have been gg out everyday? hahs. fri went out with the ROYALTIES. din join em in the morn cos of swimming. the sets were pretty slack for training but i felt really tired after that. guess it has been too long since i swam so vigorously. den went to find the royalties at kbox at marina sq.
angeline! sry! nv talked much to u! cos i was too tired from my training. dun wanna talk. sry!
den we went pool. i tink i m a tyco pro. hahs. i managed to get the balls into the holes with alot of tyco shots. but i m still proud of myself. =)
and so i slept at 8 plus when i reached home and woke up at ten plus the next morning and tada!
i forgt about informing pple bout the swim team outing. sorry. but luckily glendon helped me with the informing part. pretty irritated by someone though. bleahs. humph!
so we went for lunch at lucky plaza. glendon and jiehan ate. while me and ms sue looked at them. hahs. and crapped alot.
after that, we decided to head to ivan's club. but we stoped at 7/11 and wanted to buy food. buti have the sudden craving for delifrance. so we decided to walk back to taka (when we walked from taka to somerset initially). so we went to have delifrance. and got pretty tempted by the food in the other stalls. but nO! i dun wanna gained weight. after that, we headed dwn to ivan's club and sang ktv for like 5 hrs? and the mtv of some of the songs are pretty crappy.
the club has a really nice atmosphere. and in the ktv, MS SUE IS A HIDDEN TALENT FOR SINGING. we shall send her to represent swimming for temasek idol next year. she sang so well ytd can. we asked for enchore alot of times. dun believe?ask her to sing for u next time.hahs
den after that we went vi'lage, a place which was marche initially. aww. i missed last year marche. the new year countdwn with huiyi's gang. anyway, the place never changed much, the atmosphere is still there, the food standard should be there. cos i never eat much, only ate potato wedges. hahs. HUIYI AND GANG, WE MUST GO VI'LAGE B4 THE YEAR ENDS KAES?
oh den we started chatting on a very interesting topic- "love" hahs. ivan and melody was like discussing about the different situations. while we listened. pretty engaging and alot of food for thoughts. and we went home!
i enjoyed this day alot. though the response may be low and i m pretty unhappy with someone, but still things went on well and it was overall a fun and wonderful outing. =))
ok. let's see for the past weeks, the many emotions i went tru.
firstly is mr koh told me that i have to drop bio to H1 cos i nv take. prertty feel like killing the school when i heard that. i WILL NEVER DROP. somemore i nv take is cos of valid reason. why should i drop when i m performing well at it! grrgrrgrr.
i m pretty pissed by my parents nwadays. so now. are u all happy that i m not mixing with the people that u deemed as bad company? so now, are u happy that ur daughter have break off from them? do u tink by doing so, i feel happy? instead, i feel more misery. the restriction, the conservative thinking that u all have, i wanna break free of it.
i din know that bad company wld motivate me to study and accompany me to study when i dun feel like to. do u all get it that ur theory is totally ironical and illogical.
i duno wad shld i do nw. it's like. i wanna get back. but here my parents are, restricting my every movement. conducting checks to ensure that i m not with the pple they deemed as bad company. and jing jing decided to take a step back. cos she dun wish to see the relationship btw my parents and mine to turn sour. but sometimes i wonder. jing jing, arent u hurting me more by dd so?
i missed the MUGGERS' CLIQUE.
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i m trying to take the consequences of my exams results slowly. but really. i wan a H3. but not in that sub which i qualified for. cos i dun like the modules which are gg to be taught. argh. how. it's a v slim chance. although ms teo told me that actually i cld do someth cos of the fact that i was sick that time. i m still damn angry at the sick part. i cant help but to blame myself. why. of all times, u mus fall sick during PROMOS somemore. STUPID FOOL.
i actually rejected the bio olympiad. hmmm. i duno if i made the right choice or not. just thought that i dun wanna overload myself at the moment. though i wanna stretch myself, but not in this area perhaps. but i m glad, really glad for someth. =)) but perhaps it brings about regrets for rejecting it? oh well. hais. perhaps i shldnt have rejected. ehs. ehs. sighs. and the H3 for bio dun sound appealing.
PW. it sucks to the core.
i guess i will comment on it after everyth is done. oh well.
i m sleepy. i gained weight. stupid me. for eating so much cos of the sadness upon seeing my exam results.
the "Royalties" shall mug, play hard together from now on!~ yeah! we mus do well! =))
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promos have been over.
but i dun feel that kinda joy.
cos i noe...
i aint gg to do welll...
was really sad for bio. cos i din go and take the paper. was dwn with gastric flu. like darn. why mus i be down with it during exams period. argh. and i cant retake the exam. sighs. there is nth i can do. ms teo kept telling me that i cant retake. i duno hw. that means i only have 3 core sub to depend on and my LEP sucks like hell. which means i really really mus pass my maths and chem. i needa get promoted.
i have alot of consequences to bear cos of my sucky exam results. i duno if i cld take the consequences or not. currently, the more i tink of it. the more i m fearful of it. and the more teary i get. i tried to keep my mind occupied. but i cant help but tink of it. i really under performed this time. wad exactly happened and wad exactly went wrong. i worked hard and get nth in the end. i really duno why.
i know there are certainly alot of pple who will really get good results. cos this is promos. not jct anymore. i duno wad will happen. i m really scared of wednesday.
today everyth was well until jus now. dinner with the swim team was fun. hahs. thanks ivan for the swensens earthquake. but i feel really fat cos of it. >.< talked alot with ms sue. hahs. it has been so long since we talked so much. open hse was tiring. very. cos i walked from the sports complex to booth to sports complex like duno hw many times.
hendrik was kinda funny jus now. hahs. i said hi to him den he was looking at me and said. hey u have really slimed down alot huhs. i was like oh thanks. so he came forward and shake my hands and said congrats. was kinda shocked. cos like ehs. no one has yet to shake my hands and congrats me cos of it. they only tell me. but thanks =)) u made my day!
jus now. i was jus kinda. emo?
but i have been putting up with it for v long.
wad's exactly wrong with them?
i dun get it why mus u all think that they are bad company.
just from LOOKS.
like hell.
why mus u all judge a book by its cover.
and we aint dd anyth illegal or wad.
we are merely talking and wanted to teach fen for her o's
wad's exactly wrong with that???????????????????????
i m really pissed cos of it.
what's wrong?
aint u all getting too paranoid about it.
hw have they led me astray?
am i not studying?
am i a drop- out now?
am i an ah lian now?
am i smoking, drinking now?
NO!
den wad's wrong?
didnt i mug harder cos i have them for company?
why mus u all judge things by the way u tink it shld be?
and for goodness sake.
stop being so conservative.
are u all expecting that my social circle wont have guy friends??!!!
and ONLY GALS.
that's like so totally impossible.
u all make me feel that i cant breathe at all.
i m pissed and v pissed about it.
i dare to say that no. they are not bad company.
stop being paranoid can?
it drives pple crazy.
pissed pissed and still pissed.
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two more papers to go.
but i dun have the energy anymore.
i feel so sick now.
just vomited.
like hell
i din eat much today.
hw to mug for my bio and chem.
argh.
pls. dun fall sick at this moment.
i cant concentrate at all.
feeling worse den ever.
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