All That I've Got

Wednesday, April 26, 2006
-8:40:00 PM-

i wanna be a happy gal. i wanna be happy. i tried to be happy. but apparently, i cant. faced with alot of probs now. sighs.

cried in the audi during mass civics today.the atm was so weird lo. the person was talking about HIV/AIDS while i m there crying. cldnt control my tears at all. no matter how many jokes that papa and darren said, i could only try to laugh. but deep inside, i aint feeling ani better. i cldnt control and stop my tears at all. argh.

i have tried to tolerate. but my patience is really running thin.

felt kinda guilty when FL and YW apologised to me. but it aint entirely their fault that i cried. yupps. it isnt. so dun worry. but u 2 really touched me. thanks.

i cld only blame it on myself for being so...the same old prob is back.

seeing you only makes me lose further control of myself.

felt kinda bad that i din go down and collect the stuff from the HIV/AIDS talk when they asked for e CG REP. but at that time, i totally dun have the face to look at anione at all lo.my eyes are so swollen and red plus my face is really wet.>.<

my eyes hurt from all the crying. and stupid papa now give me a nickname call" pi2 ti4 cong2" humph!!! and he keeps saying it lo. bleah.jus oos i cried till my hands and face are so wet.

but darren and papa were nice to help me carry my stuff after the mass civics. oh and xin an too. but he was there saying he dun wanna carry my pink file. cos it looks kinda gay. >.<

swam arnd 4.5 km today.n i dun like the fins. i got cramps for 5 to 6 times during the fly stroke lo. kinda irritating. cldnt kick well at all.argh. i m only good at free style lahz. which is so frustrating. i dun have any strokes to fall back on.

i m really lost regarding the task i m assigned to.

why mus we be the pple hu suffered in silenece.

i HATE HER. for the first time, i said it out. i have already tolerated for so many years. so much for the false front put up by ya. yeeks.

the unfair treatment, the fact that u dun even care about my feelings at all, the pretence, everyth. i cant stand it animore.

wad m i supposed to do about HIM. at least for now, keeping myself busy is the only solution. i m still torn btw my mind and my heart. a tough war that caused much wasted tears.

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