sighs. today's training was disappointing. my standard is nt there at all. i duno why. i m utterly disppointed in myself. wad happened?! why my timing is so bad. argh.
i duno. my ankle injury hasnt fully recovered apparently. i cant really kick my butterfly and free style well. my right leg is stiff. veri stiff. cos it's painful if i kicked the right way. but i m nt gg to attribute my failure to that pathetic excuse of my ankle injury. why has my timing bcum so bad!! sighs. tmr training at SSC again. i m really scared. scared and scared.i m scared to face the failure again. esp when the carnival/ competition is this sunday. sobs.
and my stupid cough refused to go away. for goodness sake. can i jus recover. argh. why mus e cough mixture be a drowsy medicine. i hate drowsiness. if nt for the drowsiness, i wld have taken it 3 times a day. but, i have activities in the morning and afternoon. i cant take it 3 times. i cant afford that. argh. but still, i nid to recover asap. i cant cough and breathe and swim at the same time.
it's surprising hw i m taking the words that u said. i can actually even encourage u to go for it. i duno wad went wrong. but i noe that u will nv noe and can nv noe about these feelings of mine. i cant stop myself from tinking of u. wad m i supposed to do. m i supposed to jus listen and listen and pretend that i agree to wad u said. in fact, i dun agree at all. but so wad? i m as impt to u as that person out there. that person is ur everyth. yahz. ur everyth.
swimming camp. trix jus called me and say that mayb she will join us. i really hope she join us. i miss her loads. training w/o trix is boring. hahz.
i have lost that kind of nv say die attitude. usually, no matter hw tough the training may be, i choose to go for it and dun give up. but apparently, now, i m giving it up so easily.
can my life be not so gloomy animore? can i stop shedding tears? oh well, but if i can, my blog wldnnt have such a link. tears-dat-neva-cease. sighs.wadeva.
on the verge of breakdwn. i guessed i jus hafta cry it out. haizz..
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