All That I've Got

Tuesday, February 14, 2006
-10:14:00 PM-

i have nv eva felt so heartbroken b4. that kind of trapped feelings i felt 2 yrs ago is back. in torrents. i m torn btw 2 emotions. i m torn btw my emotions and someone.

finally i told someone about my feelings. i heed her advice of finding someone to confide in. perhaps this is called when u say it out, your words bcum the truth.i have nv eva tot that i cant ctrl thses kind of emotions at all.

perhaps i shldnt have said it out. i realised that since i said it out, i cant stop my overwhelming emotions and tears. hw m i supposed to cope with this.

3 wks. i have only 3 wks to sealed those emotions and put it into memory. 3 wks. hw m i supposed to do that?

she noes me inside out. i m really glad that at least i have her to be with me to tide tru this. it's hard. but i jus hafta try. but till nw, i cant even ctrl my emotions and tears, how to even tide tru these 3 wks.

where's the rationale me. where's the strong me. i have lost everyth today. the moment i said it. and the moment i saw her actions. everyth breaks dwn.

i dun wan that kind of drama series to becum the truth in my life.no. it can nv happen. i cant let it happen. i cant afford that.

that kind of tots keep cuming into my mind. hw close they are.

till now, i only have tears to console me.

i really hope that i can seal everyth and put it into memory. no way will i allow myself to go deep dwn into this well of death.

it has been so long since i felt such strong emotions. i tot that i always can ctrl it. hw cum it doesnt seem so now.

i hafta pick myself up. jus like hw she picks herself up. i have to.

i m speaking in riddles. but i cant afford to say it. once i said it out, i dun tink i can bear the consequences at all.

why mus ths turn out this way?

i wanna swim. i wanna train. then can my tears mixed with the water in the pool. n no one will see it. it's embarrassing to shed tears.

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