All That I've Got

Saturday, September 24, 2005
-10:51:00 PM-

love..
a profound word..
which i havent found ani meaning to it..
i wana find the meaning of love..
but i cant seem to do it..

hope..
the kind of hope that u once gave moi..
but u took it awae..
u make moi cant see the light animore..
u make moi wana turn back to the old path again..

tears...
the enemy whom i have been trying hard to defeat..
but yet i havent won ani battle against it..
i lost every battle i have against it..
n lost every single confidence i once had b4 i started the battle against it..

disappointment...
that's wad i alwaes get frm u..
that's wad i see in u..
that's wad u gave moi..
n left moi all alone with..

loneliness...
i jus felt empty inside out..
n is still feeling so..
i cant fill up tis feeling..
when u chose to leave moi all alone...

exhuastion...
that's wad i m experiencing now..
mentally n physically..
even hw much i tried to sleep moiself to death..
i still woke up the next morning...
only to find that the feeling of exhuastion remains..

emotions..
an 8 letters word..
yet it has soooO mani different meaning to it..
hw much i tried to avoid it..
i m still overwhelm by it..
i wana be void of emotions..
bt that wld turn moi inhuman..
can u see the dilemma i m gg tru...

hatred...
that's wad i tried to have towards u..
but the more i wan to hate you..
the hatred i wan to have..
sumhw melts when i tink of the past...
it cant exist for a single moment in moi mind..
moi soul..
moi heart..

i duno wad i m trying to sae..
i duno wad m i dd..
i duno wad m i saying..
i duno wad will cum out of all this..

i m still at the beginning..i haven make a step forward..yet u r miles awae frm moi..why mus things turn out tis wae...why mus we bcum strangers again...

~thoughts written into words by mInmIn~

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