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What Is Left Of Me
mInmIn
17
20th august 1989
Temasek Junior College
LOVES <3
Family
Friends
Tjc Swim Team
The special ONE
moi eyes are sOo pain from crying..haizz..
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so u have cum back le..yet u din even care to tel moi about it...ishz tym so tight for u dat u cant tel moi about it? wadeva...since u are nt caring bout wad ishx happening...why shld i?no point at all..u even have the cheek to go net,yet u chose to ignore..fine..guess i gave u too much freedom n happiness dat u are forgetting hu u are n wad it means..wadeva..i m not gg to care n i promise..i will nt..forget it..
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hmmm...quite look forward to tmr..cos can go out wif pw mummy! guess will be the last tym we can realli go out n enjoy before dat irritating olevels..haizz...
todae went py mac n kfc to "study" wif pw mummy...i supposed we din study much..kipz playing n luffin..well..dat's fine..hahazz...cos we get to enjoy ourselves!!! tsk tsk..sooOOo happiex norxx...we kipz talking lame stuff n dd lame stuff...i tink the guy hu sit bside us oso cant stand us liaozz..hahazz...we realli siaozz..kekex...den we kipz alternating mac n kfc...kfc's aircon ishx realli COLD! brrr....hahazz...realli cold manzz...was soOO cold dat i cant even write properly...hmmm...den pw mummy tried to explain to moi sumth bout MOLE in chem until siaozz..hahazz...so lame..even use a dozen of pens n highlighters to explain..kekexx...
yeah! i m soOO looking forward to tmrr...
haizz...mummy haven cum back...*worries*
why u din sms moi *disappointed*
miss you...
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hmmm..todae...hmm...happiex.. =) hahazz..okiex lahzz...i m alwaes late..dat's all i can sae..kekex..poor pw mummyy waited for moi for half n hr.hahazz..luckily she can study first..hahazz..i wake up at 8.20am when i supposed to meet her at sing post at 9am? hahazz...if i go out at 8.20 certainli i can reach on tym..but moi still nidz bathe n all those stuff...n to save bus fare,i chose to walk there..wow..the traffic ishx real heavy..so mani da da de lorries...den the traffic lights all so luan..so i reached at 9.30..hahazz..sorriex pw mummy worxx..kekex..den we frm mac go kfc..cos mac veri chao...den go kfc so quiet..why pple like to study at mac soOo much huhxxx...hmmm...kfc onli got 2 pathetic souls inside..
den i told pw mummy wait for alot alot of pple den i wan to eat...hahazz...i got funny theory ya c..kekex...den i sae 12pm certainli alot of pple de...den pw mummy sae i siaozz...hahazz..in the end,she lost..hahazz..veri lame..i was ritex...at zun zun 12pm on the dot,a bunch of pple came in...alot of pple lohzz..hahahahahazz..i was luffing like siaozz...kekex..c i got foresight..clever moi..lalalaz..
den we ate...den aft dat,i sae not healthy to eat le den immediately study in kfc...den she sae den go walk lohxx..so we went this fashion..ahahazz...we noe we wont buy clothes de..still we jus try n try lohzzz...hahazz...pw mummy,i wish for the dae when u will wear sumth other than tshirt n jeans....=P lalalazz..
den go back study lohxx...pw mummy's nutrition chapt realli hopeless..hahazz...but she still managed to finish it...*clapz* den i wanted to study emaths..tis stupid mummy wan go popular..though we wont buy anyth de..den good moi acc her lohzz..
den went back..i m stuck at histograms! i hate that..!!!!!!!!!! i hate dat stupid th!!!!!! den i was asking pw mummy sum qnss...den i duno wad she said..den xiong xiong de...den i nearly wana cried..hahaazz...den i duno wad she tink..but den she turn to moi..pinch moi..! hahazz..den i jus sae..faster study ur nutrition nahzz..aiyo..hahazz..but moi happiezz le lahzz..not angry at all..lalalalazzz..den we went hm le lohxx...moi walk home again..den i slept like a pig! hahazzz...
yeah!!!!!!!!! finalli we are gg out!!!!!! lalazzz..but ehxx...sk veri far nehxx..all thanks to pw mummmy for wanting to draw lots of where to go...humph! hahazz..luckily neva call moi go simei can le..stupid pw mummy like east soOO much..hahahazzz...
hmmmmmmmmm.........i still duno wad to do nehxx...i wana ask pw mummy de..but aiyo..she din noe wad happened..so i oso cant ask her for advice..hmmmm....haizz..actualli i saw wad u sent moi le...if u cum moi blog n c tis.......but.....................haizzzz...i duno.....let moi tink kaex? take care in the meantym bahzzz...
hmmm...shld i wait for pw mummy to take her liu qin tmr?yawnzzz...haizzz...
~dong jie le shi jian,dong jie le chu yu na yi tian...
dong jie na hua mian bu rong ta rong jie...~
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haizz...the wall btw us seems to be building up sumhw..i duno wad to do..i try nt to tink of him..but still..sumhw..i cant do it...i m trying to find mani things to occupy moiself..still..i cant..haizz...i wan to tel him sumth dat he himself will certainli be veri happiez to hear bout..but i cant bring moiself to sae it..moi pride ishx holding mi back...real back...dat i dun feel like saying it at all..cos i dun wan him to be under e impression dat..haizz...suo lai suo qu..hai shi wo de cuo..cos i m too proud to sae dat...haizz...moi hp has been sOoo not quiet todae..but nt cos of him...haizz..in e past..it can be real "noisy" cos got him to acc moi..but nw...he left..we r like in 2 different worlds...it seems so near yet so far..i still cant put moi pride dwn to tel u dat..haizzz..i cant expect anyth..when u r nt wif mi,i realli wana find u out..bt when u sms moi or ishx wif mi..i sumhw,gave u a cold shoulder..yahzz...tis ishx moi fault..but..i cant do anyth to moiself..cos i oso duno if i take a step forward,izit beneficial for both of us,or jus giving each of us false hopes..i dun wana take ani risk again.
finalli,the hp has been noisy jus now cos of him..but he din reply le..guess he used it "illegally"..aiyo..why sOOo guaizz huhzz...all i noe ishx other pple nt so guai de nehxx...well,perhaps as tym past by,u wont be so guai le bahzz...bt dat will be gd for mi..hahahazz..haizzz...
hmmm...ytd went to moi cousin bdae party..din feel like gg actualli..haizzz..since moi grandma pass awae..i havent been close to moi relatives le..cos..well..dey simply ishx biased towards moi bro dat i simply cant stand it..but wad past ishx past..wad's the use of dwelling upon them when they will jus tink dat u r being petty..i cant stand it sumtyms...i have been avoiding moi relatives nowadaes..haizz..moi biao mei share the same tots as mi..perhaps..both of us receive the same treatment bahzz..dat's why..so ytd..i went..wanted to play wif that little cousin of moi hu ishx turning 2 yrs old..but he jus kipz running arnd..hahazz..n sOOo mani pple wan him..i dun like seeing dat..so i jus walked awae..din wana do anyth...
den moi biao mei oso sianzz lahzz..she share the same sentiments as moi..so we listen to jj songs..he rockz manzz..hahazz..both of us like him since last sat..when we chatted n knew each other real well..n get realli up close...den moi biao mei bring me to the playground..sumhw...i feel realli tempted to sms him at tat tym..still..pride pulled moi back...den the playground swing was filled up wif pple..den i jus lie on the slide..enjoying the nitex sky..sOOO nice ya noee...den..well..memories flooded moi..begin to sing songs wif moi biao mei..how i wish tym cld jus stopped there..haizzz...
tmr gg chem...aft dat go study AGAIN..i m sick of tis kinda life..olevels..can u jus get awae asap..but ironicalli..i believe..end of year..life will be harder for moi..haizz..
the wall btw us ishx buildin up..we r getting real far apart..i belive one dae..our promise will be broken sumhw..still..i wana sae..i have faith...
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he leave le..haizz...kinda weird w/o him pei mi now..haizz...sad sad sad..i feel soOOO empty inside out...haizz..dun have him to pei mi le...perhaps wad i said ishx ritex..i will onli feel e pain when he leave..i feel sooOo..argh...it isnt a nice feeling..dat's all..
duno wad shld i do n hw shld i coped...haizz...guess he cant on his hp anywae..haizz..
more haizz..i duno wad to do..shld i....tok to jy bout dat th..she told mi why not try 2 tok it out..but i aint prepared...or rather..i duno whether i shld or nt..cos...moi life wld realli be different if........
i feel dat i m bloggin incoherently...u dun understand wad i m saying ritex..neither do i..haizz...
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haizz..haizz..haizz..
hahazz...jus sighing awae...oops...n it's noon nw..anywae todae went for mrs yee eng lesson n i was LATE!!!!!!!!!! first tym late for lesson though...well,there ishx a first tym for everyth..i overslept lahzz..stupid mi...10 am den woke up..when i m supposed to reach sch by 10 am?? hahaz...den i rushed..reached sch at 10.30am..kekex..was so paiseh...luckily...mrs yee veri de nice de..she gave mi a warm welcum n lesson resume..lalazz...lucky man...kekex...i was so scared later scolded or wad....
den zhenni n tiger was telling mi dey saw mi on sat...speaking about sat...
it was a realli nice n happiez dae..but horzz...in the midst of it..she fainted nahzz...den was soOo scared..n soOo mani pple..n THE GUYS THERE ARE NOT GENTLEMEN AT ALL...feel like giving them a hard dead punch...grrr...dey din helped her at all..den left mi n one gal bring her to the first aid station..grrr...luckily..it was jus cos it's realli lack of oxygen in dere..so she fainted..den she rest..n we cont shouting out..hahazz..
understand? no? hahaz..i guess onli those hu saw mi on sat understood wad i said...
anywae..ahahaha...both of us are sOOo crazy over jj now..he ishx soOOOo talented n gdd looking...hahazz..den all his songs soOO nice..i luv his dou jiang you tiao to bits..hahazz..i still considering whether to join or nt..but tink will join wif her lahzz...
hmmm..he leaving le..tmr...haizz..i dun tink i meetin him bahzz..i mean..haizz..i m confused moiself..sorriex dat i cant tel you bout the many things...sumhw..i like to kipz things to moiself nowadaes..duno why..i dun feel like saying moi feelings at all..perhaps i will regret aft u leave le...still bao zhong n take realli good care..i will tink of u bahzz...
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i m soOo excited..hahazz..later gg out..so i m not someone hu kipz studying horzz...*hurhem to those hu alwaes sae dat* hahahaz...but horz...i m SUPPOSED to be in the bathrm now..but well...i dun feel like moving n bathing..though i like to doll moiself up..but nt now..can i jus wear normal...=X oops i cant..hmmm..gota c how..great..i guessed i m wasting tym awae here..nvm...
anywae..i luv pw mummy bk to bits..ahhhh..the book de qing jie ishx soOOooO cute..the gal ishx soOOo cute..i love dat bk..oops..pw mummy..i m gg to get addicted le..how..u lahzz.all ur fault..oops...kekex....
hmmm..i still miss gg bowling nehxx...i gota dragged pw mummy go one more tym..but she shall treat herself..gee...oh well..finalli pw mummy entered the arcade wif mi! hahaz..i wan that cute bear! pw mummmy..din u wan to?kekex...well..but it's hard to get..lalalzz...
i guess i gota be late..but nvm..i still like com..oh yahzz..ENERGY songs rockzz...ritex..xuan..hahazz...u good lahzz..got their album n signature! i still duno wana buy nott...hahazz...well..i m not broke animore..dat's good..gee..
hopex i m still on moi schedule..gee...gota finish wad i have to study by todae though..hmmm..can lahzz..but i still wana go out..dun care..lalalazz...*muacks*
miss you worxx...kekex...
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jus feek down..n i duno why..haizz...
i wana cry..but tears jus cant get out..perhaps..i m fulfilling the wish of not being a teary mi..but...sumhow.e feeling ishx realli not nice..when u cant shout it out..cant cry it out...
i miss you alot..i miss the times when we spent tym together..i realli miss you alot..i kipz telling me everyth will be alritex..yahzz...alritex...but everyth isnt ritex...i duno wad to sae..i dun wana add on stress on u..cos well..i noe..to kipz a relationship gg n to find a balance btw ur fren n bf ishx hard..but...i realli miss you..i realli wana c u..i realli wana spend tym with u..nan dao pei wo ji ge xiao shi ye na me nan ma? i realli miss you sOOo much...
n well..as for u..i duno wad to do..seriously i duno..i duno wad u tinking bout..wad exactly?it hurts mi...it jus hurts..but since i oso duno moi feelings for u..jus let things be..it's unfair if i claimed u r mine jus like dat...but....u told mi u wana c mi tis wk..i said nth..cos surprisingly u read moi mind..i actualli wanted to call u out tis wk de..but when u asked for it..sumhw..to retain moi pride...i said nopex..i duno wad's wrong with mi...i jus take things for granted bahzz...perhaps as u go off next wk..i will den feel the pain...feel the loneliness w/o you..but till now..i still cant convince moiself...
i m not as good as pw bahz..she manage to stick to her study plan..jus now went to c the planner..realised..i pushed backward alot of things cos of rushing hmwk..but things arent gg to get on tis wae..i cant stick to moi plan...
mummy getting her results of the chest n abdomen scan tmr..kor kor taking leave..papa take half dae leave..i m having hols..but got lit seminar..i cant pei mama go take..i feel so heartbroken n bad..wad if history repeats...touchwood though..but there ishx alwaes a wad if..dat makes pple worry..no..nth will happen..nth...
mama..i m not good at expressing..but..i m not dat kind of gal whu does not care at all..i care..i care..i realli care..i nidz u..dere ishx no eternity in tis world..but at least..stae wif mi now...
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haizz...alone..i hate loneliness siazz...but..i oso dun feel like gg out..oso dun feel like dd hmwk..wad do i wan?! i dun even noe..haizzz...i m jus stuck here..with a square screen...wad shld i do?
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yawnz...hmmm..anywae..to those hu wan the pics in moi digi cam..do msg mi in msn k...pray hard moi bro dun format com lahz..cos i m realli lazy to kipz installing..it takes simply toooOo long..so quickly take them b4 they disappear lohzz...hahaz...i tried moi best le...kekex...
haizz..i m sOOo easily affected...emotions..emotions...emotions..i m sOo tIred n sick of it...i dun wana be controlled by it..i dun like to be teary..i dun wan..but...i realised i onli sink deeper e more i dun wan it..still..i cant seem to control..i dun wana slp..cos i dun wana wake up tmr..cos i dun like dat kind of lost n lonely feeling..i hate it..i detest it..why did i dreamt of you..does it mean dat i have sank even deeper?i dun wan..i tot i have forgotten those feelings..those overwhelming one..but it seems dat i have not..but wad's the use..we are neva meant to be..or rather...i guess u duno about it too..it's jus foolishness..jus foolishness...i dun like tis kind of feeling..seriously i dun wan to be trapped anymore..the tears i shedded are enuff..i dun wana write that kind of things animore..it onli make mi feel more weak..argh..
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