tis wk ishx quite a depressed one..haiz...
denise sick sick de...tue neva cum sch..so lonely..kekex..luckily..she came back le...haiz...well..i duno..or rather i duno wad to sae in tis blog nw..i gota be emotional again...
i wan moi life..moi own life...bt why i seems to tink so much..bout other pple's feelings..can i dun care...can i try to dun care..nt at all..i read kelly's blog..she wana be a baitch...i dun wana spell it out loud..cos i still feel dat dat particular word ishx onli suit for sumone like her..pui...well back to kelly..she saes yahx..tis thing has been in moi mind..i see a shadow in her..she wana be a person hu heck care bout other pple feelings n wana turn into sumone hu will hurt anione anihw...cos she has been hurt b4..she dun wana be sumone hu care bout other pple feelings animore...well..i wana be such a person too...bt too bad..i cant do it..i tried alot of tyms..i still cant...
dat tym..zay xy n mani others told me one th dat i guessed i will foreva rem... a bitch like her will survive in the society nxt tym..cos the society ishx jus full of so mani tis kind of pple..tis kind of backstabbers...bt sumone like me..will jus be the victim aftall..i will cum out dead...wad can i do..haizz...i hab been a victim under her..wth...
i found dat dey take things too seriously le..haiz..i nt gota sae hu bahx...perhaps i m jus too sensitive..haizz...n tension ishx building up btw me n her..haiz..i kinda feel like i m compromising her jus cos of her..complicated? nt at all if i sae the names out...bt dun wan bahx...if u all wana noe..ask me bahz...i dun like to spell everyth..hahaz...i dun wana continue compromising..i m getting real frustrated...cos it's like...i m bein accused for things dat i neva do..wat the...jus cos of her i need to compromise..i dun wan her to feel diffcult btw us..or ishx she..i duno..i guess she will neva noe dat i m toking bout her in here...wadeva...i will jus blow my top one dae...argh...i mean...i get real frustrated when i tok to her..she dun seems to tink b4 she sae anyth...grr...
hmmm..n i cant seem to communicate wif her too..well i referring to another person..haizz..i duno nahz...i seems dat..argh..i feel so damn stuck...so damn freak up...i mean..well..when she told us hw she motivate herself..i was realli apppalled...does the world revolves arnd jus cos u r a genius..nt at all..i dun like to be surrounded like dat..it seems dat everyth ishx nt impt except......wadeva..wad can i sae...dey r the same species..i can onli adapt..argh...
i felt dat i m accomodating..i m jus putting on a mask to whueva i m seeing nw..cos i dun feel the need to show my trueself animore...e promise dat was broken left a deep scar in my heart...i find dat..perhaps in life..frenz maybe everyth sumtyms..bt cum to tink of it...hu r the pple hu will hurt u most? frenz n ur bf if one hab...nt ur family who we often take it for granted..i dun deny the fact dat..some frenz are realli worth ur efforts...bt i said SOME...nt all..unfortunately...i fall under the category of the all-some=betrayal...hahaz...dd some mathematics?? duno...i used to let myself be invisible among my frenz...bt jus cos of tis...dey used tis "device" to torture me..to backstab me...wad's e meaning of tis man...well...since i m in cdc...acting has been everyth for fer yrs..putting on a mask ishx n easy task aftall...
well pw mummy n denise ishx coughing so hard..pity them..hahaz...though i veri scared in fact..i dun wana fall sick again..my immune system ishx getting so low nwadaes..bt well..i do hope dey can recover soon..mus get well soon worx...gee..*all e best worz* =)
sumtyms i wonder..why the frenship btw 3 of us ishx so hard to sustain...so hard to prove..bt the frenship btw my other frenz ishx so easy to maintain..mayb nt easy..bt still much much beta...perhaps...dere ishx sumth called maturity n accomodation..i duno hw to explain..bt maturity ishx nt the literal meaning aftall...we cant accomodate each other at all..nt at all...
well..why shld i tok bout them..since i hab no feelings le..i guessed so..nwadaes..i see them together..toking...i oso heck...in the past..i used to look okiex...bt jealousy surges up sumhw...bt nw..i guessed nt..when i saw them..i was like..jus a bunch of pple toking..duhx...no jealousy at all..haiz...ishx tis gd or bad...
lit lit lit..i m getting crazy wif literature...i miss ms chan..i realli miss her..haiz...bt wad can i sae..i m stuck wif argh...haiz...drop?or nt? bt ss n e geo ishx nt a sure stuff...i cant rely on one humanities..onli..i gota buck up my lit..i still cant find the diff btw pw mummy essay n mine..why everyth i wrote like kanna rejected one..argh..i gota find out e reason tmr..i dun wana do prose tmr...prays..i hate dat..argh...
bionomial therom ishx driving me real crazy..i get so confused with all the powers n indices..i guessed i will get crossed eyed soon..hahaz...
tmr gg swim swim if she can make it..n go chinatown wif papa n mama..so happiexx....i feel so guilty..last wk cos of that stupid e geo test..i rejected them...argh...n dat e geo test sarks to the core...wonder why..cos our paper ishx so damn hard...firstly..growing concerns..argh..i duno wad i m writing..secondly...the measures thingy when ms soh din call us to learn solutions..dotz..argh..my egeo ishx plunging again..haizz...
okiex...finalli i feel beta nw...aft venting my frustrations..i gota look on to the brighter side of life bahz...bt i gota sae..i nt gota be the person whom u all knew once b4..dat's history..n foreva will be.....
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