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What Is Left Of Me
mInmIn
17
20th august 1989
Temasek Junior College
LOVES <3
Family
Friends
Tjc Swim Team
The special ONE
back frm chalet...three words to sae--->boring bt tiring! kekex...sort of contradicting horx..bt i will tell ya why...
on fri...we waitied for the car so long..kekex..i was so bored..wif my biao mei..n her...i finalli saw her..miss her lotx..aaaaahhhhhh...bt she sae she leaving on 2nd dec...n perhaps nt cuming back..i was so damn sad..bt i neva sae anyth narhx..jus hope her mother will change the decision..bt cum to tink of i..why shld i stop her...when she ishx so unhappiex here in singapore..her memories were nt gd either..i wld rather c the happiex her..haix..duno nahx..
then reached there...begin to slack..cos nth to do...then i saw the swimming pppooooooolllllllll...my god..i was so happiex..keep saying i wan go ppooooooolll...then finalli me n her jus jump in..haha...it has been duno hw mani zillion yrs since i went..the water was sooooo cold...phew..then i try to swim the diff stroke..well...then they gt a slide..meant for kids nehx..bt we all go play..it was so fun!make me wana go wild wild wet..it was so fast...bt i alwaes landed on the wrong part...shall nt sae..heex...*shy*
then me biao mei no swimming suit..so she risked jus jump in like dat..luckily no lifeguard..heex..haix..i duno wad to sae of her..will sae why later..
then have steamboat..we three ate together..the adults were at the big table..nice lahx..bt no bbq sad....
then we went to our rm again..nth to do again..haix..so jus tok tok..haha...then sms edmund n ck...call them sms wif me..kekex..cos me her veri cute nohx..when i sms she sae she jealous..then when i sms i will sae i jealous..so we two were there finding sumone to sms..haha...then played card games..haix..then nth to do le..then was smsing...then her nu er suddenly call her..aiyo..make me so scared nohx..i duno hw to sae nahx..haix..jus hope she wont go fight to settle the prob nohx..
then me biao mei horx she slept veri scary one..she will kicked u n hit u..so poor her was kanna..haix..
nxt dae..we were like pig..cos of me biao mei we din slp well..so aft ate breakfast we slp againx..woke up at near one..kekex..then baby aaron came..he soooooo cute......ahhhhhhhh...cute cute cute...i fa jue i like to carry baby alot..i kept carrying him...then he kept wan to jump into the ppooolll...real cute...haha...luv him lotx...bt i oso seldom c him..gege...then we went swimming..again..then found out dat there ishx a shop rent swimming suit..so me biao mei can go swim le..then me papa oso swim..so fun nohx..kekex..bt aft 3 hrs inside..i was feeling real sick..so sick dat i pangseh them nohxx..sorriex lahx..me din mean to leave the pool w/o telling u all..felt like vomiting..haix...wad a swmming exp...haix..
me bro frenx came aft dat..then eat catering..then came the cake..kekex...then when take foto..i was nt veri natural..cos gt so mani pple nohx..*shy* heex..then me nt on veri gd terms wif me bro too..was there standing so far..bt wad can i do..i mean..well we r jus nt gd..dun like take bleahx..bt me take lotx of fotos wif me biao mei n her..will upload here sumtime later ba...
then here cums the th..she din wana slp wif me biao mei..cos she kick mahx..then i was so wei nan..one myveri gd fren one my biao mei nehx..okiex logically i shld stand on my biao mei side...bt since me grandma pass awae..i din have a veri gd relationship wif them..cos they jus kan wo bu shun yan de gan jue..so i oso nth..basic respect..other than dat..i nt dat close wif them..dat's why i sided wif her mahx..then me parents were angry nohx..then me biao mei oso nt happiex..i was like i dun mind slp wif her wad..ishx she cant mahx..i sae i slp on floor nohx..slp wif my parents..then she sae dun wan in e end she slp on e floor..then me biao mei happiex le lahx..grr..still gib me the black face..i din tok to her lahx..then me mum call me tok to her..i was like she slp le tok wad..then we 2 am then slp
sun morn..realli kicked by her..bt i din sae anyth nahx..then played wif aaron again..he ishx a smart boi..i tink he can go far lahx..heex..then me oso neva tok to my biao mei le..heck care her lahx..
then me came back keep slping then sms nohx..haix..kinda sad lahx..dunno wad to sae oso..haix..duno lahx..stupid me..why m i alwaes have so mani tots dat me myself carn even ctrl anyth at all..tis type of life sucks kaex..
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woooohooxxxxxxxxxx...i m so excited bout my bro chalet..excited man...haha...can go there stae...most imptly..gt sumone impt to pei me tru out...love you lotx...muackx...ah..i m to happiex...smoochiex...
i m so happi over the moon nw..haha...anywae..me biao mei at me hm...heex..cos ytd went out wif her..then cum my hse stae..quite fun nahx...though i becum childish a little..heex...oopss...shld be childlike...heex..okiex..i siaox liao le...anywae we played monopoly n uno..fun nehx... :) went to take foto wif her too..it's nice norx...vvvvvvvvvv nice..bt horx stupid me lahx...went to press the 42 foto one..in e end the foto was as small as an ant..okiex i exaggerated...haha..bt i luve the foto..heex..
wed was nth...thurs nehx..hmmm..went out wif huiyi...n go library wif jiayi..me nearly lose my fone..luckily...chor ming helped me found it..i was so hysterical..*phew* then cm sae me alwaes so jing zhang...ya lahx..i admit..bt well..i m jus so..if i lose it..me mum n daddy will scold me for sure one norx..n veri waste money to buy one..
hmm..me was slacking tis whole wk..i promise i will work hard nxt wk..jus dun feel like studying nahx..bt see pw mummy study her jap horx..i feel sooo guilty..haix
anywae me chalet.....hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa...ahhhhhhh...here i cum..tata..cya..update when i cum back..
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ytd din blog cos my leg so pain nohx..oso no mood to blog..guess wad..i break my record..me n denise shopped for 11 hrs ytd! my god..ishx nearly half a dae..i carn believe i can shop so long..bt horx..we shop until veri lame..haha..here's our shooping route..
centrepoint->cineleisure->heeren->taka->cinelesisure->hotel phoneix->john little->plaza singapura->brasbasah->bugis->sim lim square->home!
my god...i din noe we went so mani places until we count norx...n we had a veri veri veri veri full buffet..*burps* we two were so full dat we r like dying..n denise biao jie(correct?pw mummy?hhaha) claimed dat she's ishx dead.haha.
our pencil box hunt went dwn the drain..cldn't see ani nice one..so sianx norx..then we ate at long john for lunch..aiyo..cant find 2 dollars chicken rice to treat mummy..so i decided i gib her 2 dollars then see she wan eat wad norx..then we went long john since food court oso so ex..we crap a lot there..lame jokes lohx..haha..we are so crappy there..
n denise toookkk so long to finish her drink..then we discuss bout if we add water will there be more co2 given out..cos carbonic acid plus water gib off co2..haha..then i told denise to go drink under a tree..can help the tree to photosynthesis..heex..
hmm...quite fun lahx..overall the trip..i speent quite sum money..hmmm..then we go popular..then saw huan zhu gege 3 bks..3 bks in total..10.50 each..i so obsessed by it..was there reading until denise call me.tis the first tym i enjoy reading..heex..then on e wae i was there i wan hzgg3 bks i wan buy..then denise was like dotx...heex..i mus buy...heex..
i cldnt find my discman case..grr..
excited...to go my bro's chalet..i wan see....lala..fri quick quick lehx..heex..
hey anyone noe where gt sell those soft soft pencil case n discman case which ishx cheap?tag me kaex?
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okiex..i have an awful sat..bt i gt a wonderful sundae! heex..
me mornin was so guilty for wad i did on sat..bt me parents so gd norx..they neva scold me..even like ask me wan wad to eat..wan go buy fone n stuff..i so touched..bt mak me feel real guilty oso..seriously i realli duno wad i wan lahx..
then me go out myself to bugis since mum n dad goin to my mum's frenx hse first..walk walk..hmmm..nth realli nice to see nehx..hmmm..i still tinking shld get me bro a present nt..bleahx..veri sianx of bugis everyth the same..bt i like those shophses shops.veri nice norx..
then meet me parents..hmm...go eat first..i ate little cos well i ate veri veri late in e noon..went back to og! found lotx of nice clothes there norx..so happiex..was trying..n gt a stupid auntie i shld sae..was like complaining for pple keep trying n trying..i was like aiyo ur job ishx to do tis..pple like to try oso nt ur business wad..duhx..
then me bought two sets of clothes..was nett price norx.i was like amt to 121 dollars nehx..i dun wan to buy the shirt..all 20 sumth plus 30 sumth dollars..bt my mum insisted on buying..i wld rather buy op clothes..haix..bt buy le..then wad can i sae..bt me mum sae mus wear..dat's all..i tinking tmr go out wan wear nt..see hw norx..then me mum was saying dun sae i neva buy things for u le huhx..then i felt so guilty again..
i saw wallet,beach slippers n track shoes which me parents wan to buy for me..bt i tink tis things all veri personal in dat sense to me n veri ex too..so i wld rather walk walk see see long long then buy..then will nt regret mahx..
oh ya..huiyi arhx..sorriex arhx..jus nw tok was a bit luan..cos me on e fone heex..will cfm wif u again..bt i wan watch THE SHUTTER! hu can watch wif me..then can spare huiyi..heex..
tmr goin for the high tea n pencil box searching! wif pw mummy n denise niece haha..izzit..hmmm..hope can find nice one..i waiting for tis dae veri long le..me weekend like did veri little th..bt i jus wana enjoy life nw..heex..i wan tmr to cum fast!! muackx! lala..
*i luv my maxi pig!!!*puchiex!
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i had an awful sat...
which explains why i updated at such an EARLY sundae.
i dunno wad's happening to me
i losing control
i losing my calm soul
i m lost in e battle against my emotions.
i cried a lot alot ytd
n slept veri veri early.
dat's why i woke up sooo early too.
my life seems to be upside dwn
i m nt at all interested in anyth
nt at all
okiex the things go like tis
i m jealous
real jealous of hw my parents treated my bro
ta men ba ta dang cheng bao
ba wo dang cheng cao
he's having his chalet on 26th
i m nt at all jealous bout him having a chalet
bt i m jealous towards the fact dat
why my bro can have anyth w/o even begging
n me
i beg for so long
did they give me?
i wan to go overseas for a hol
since b4 exams they promised me
n everytime i brin it up
they sae
ya will go
bt r there ani plans made to go
nt at all
n looking nw
it's lllllaaaaaaaaaatttttteeeeeeeeeee nov
nt even a single plan ishx made
so they still sae will go
i doubt so
i wan to buy sumths
sumth dat i like
bt everytime when i go out
me mum will be there
saying i dun need give u money horx
u use ur own
i dun mind it if she treats my bro like tis too
bt no!
nt at all
she will be there worrying if my bro have enuff money to spend
n if nt
she will jus give him sum
even when he's so rude towards her
they say they will buy tis buy dat for me
bt have they
empty promises
me hp issue
have been brought up for so mani times
for so longggg
have they done anyth
nt at all
they were jus there
okiex
i will buy u one
i WILL
nt at all
i m there begging for so long
n i cant even get the latest model
hw bout my bro
even when they sae they r short of money
they still buy him the latest model dat time
6610
haha
hw much dat costs?
300 plus dollars near 400.
when they claim dat they have no money
wad's tis
no money when u face me
have a lot of money in ur pocket when it cums to buying things for my bro?
i cant stand tis animore
i wan a fone which cost 200 they oso like so bu shuang
fine
ytd
i admit i m in e wrong
bt aft so mani things dat happen
i cant take it animore
frm fri
i told them bout buyin the fone again
they tried to avoid the topic
fine
on sat
i decided nt to go out animore
i dun wan buy clothes
i dun wan buy anyth gota do wif bro chalet
when i need to go to his chalet
then can i buy clothes
wad the hell ishx tis all bout
i dun feel at all excited nw
i knew i will see all those stupid relatives of mine
they are jus the same
will alwaes stand by my bro side when he's in e wrong
n try their best to explain till he ishx ritex for his actions though he ishx in e wrong
then me
give me dat kind of stupid face
when i m in e wrong
i had enuff
i use to have grandma standing by my side
supporting me tru
bt i had lost her
which means i lost all the respect i suppose to have
well
i blasted my bro's rm in e morn
i cant stand the emotions inside me
i cant cry out loud
so i jus turn the music so loudly
i dun care even if i go deaf
isnt's it beta
i dun have to hear all those praises they have for bro n all those sarcastic remarks they have for me.
then they came in
call me go out
n tried to sae jokes
i fall into e trap n went out
okiex tis part i noe i m in e wrong bt i realli duno wad's happening
we went to bugis
n they gt tis pig dat's ishx like ms chan present
(pw mummy u shld noe wad i toking bout!haha,rem we went out n u sae ur mum will buy for u since ur one ishx dirty le?)
okiex
it's a beanie th i shld sae
will change shape one
like a stress ball
bt jus dat's it's a pig nw
it's 19.95 dollars
then me parents were calling me to buy for my bro
i was like
nt dat i dun wan to buy
bt will he treasure it?
he will jus put it aside one dae
he jus love wad his gf get for him
he threw aside a watch dat me parents bought for him which ishx so ex
n keep wearing wad his gf give
i dun like to give present to sumone hu wont treasure it
so i sae no
n they were like keep calling me to buy
i was getting so frustrated inside
bt i kept quiet
then we went into a shop
they oso gt tis pig
then they call me to buy again
i dun wan
then they decided to buy for him themselves
at tis pt of time
i was like
fine
buy anyth for all u all wan
then me mum was like
they buy the big big ex ex giant one for me bro
n sae buy the mini one for me
when i said dat when i go out
i alwaes see tis type of things
tis beanie th
n i dun even bear to buy it for myself
when it's at 9.90
n call me to buy it to sumone hu wont treasure it
n it's 19.95?!
no wae
then they mistaken dat i jealous again
i m nt jealous for goodness sake
i jus dun like e fact dat we go out
u all still tink bout buyin things for him alwaes
had he put u all in his mind?
nt at all
he's jus so indulged in his relationship
obssessed by his gf
n i dun wan tis beanie th!
cos i dun wan when i sae i wan it
then u all give me
it's my bro stuff
i dun wan it!
well there ishx a red n pink one
they initially bought a red one for my bro
then jus nw i saw it on my chair
a pink one which i like
i dun wan it!
i m nt jealous cos i dun have it!
then i jus walked
keep walking n walking
then went to temple to pray
i cld nt wish for anyth
at dat time
me mind ishx full of anger,frustration
i cant pray
so i was there saying sorriex for my attitude
then went OG
i can see dat me father's face was so angry
i dun care
then i saw a shirt
i wan to unzip it
then eveyth ishx against me
i cant unzip
it gt stuck
i was so frustrated
jus walk arnd
n arnd the 2nd floor
n decided to go hm
me father was nt wif us at dat time
so onli me mum n me go hm
then i reached the bus stop
i cldnt make up my mind to go hm or nt
so i jus sat there
then me wallet was in my hand
i was so frustrated dat i spoilt it
one part of it fell off cos i sort of tear it
then i cried cried cried cried
cos tis wallet was bought wif dat bitch
memories jus came back sumhw
it overwhelm me
then i ran to catch up wif the bus
n board the bus
headed hm
i cried n cried on e wae back
then went i reached hm
i go hysterical
i cld nt stop the emotions within me
i was so frustrated
i cried out loud
shout out loud
i jus cld nt take it animore
i hate everyone
grrrrrr
so i jus cried to slp
till nw
i woke up
saw dat pig
i was lik
i dun wan it
dun care
will jus give bac to my parents
it's pink in colour
so cant give it to bro
wadeva
i m losing the ctrl of my emotions
i decided
i goin to use my savings to buy e things i wan
wad for saving it
everytime due to the fact dat i wan to save it
i alwaes cant buy e things i like
i m goin to spend
wadeva
i hate you......
*break dwn in tears*
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todae happi happi..heex..forget bout sayin cdc..i m nt happi at all there..esp at the thought of the script..heck..i m nt goin to do anyth..too bad..me tis wk busy...lala...
went out wif pw mummy aft dat..fun! heex..we took neoprints..luckily pw mummy wana tak..she arhx..alwaes dun like to take..one of them i posted on the left column..overall it's nice lahx..to me..haha..n we were like bai chi when we do e drawing part..i didnt noe dat my pen can use her eraser..n aft duno hw mani mins..she realised it..i was there busy erasing..n no time..grrr...or else it wld be nicer..kekex..bt i wonder why pw mummy cant take my background stuff..hmmm..
oh ya..pw mummy! thanks for shring the buddy meal wif me..heex..
bought quite sum stuff..badge..purse to put neoprintsssss...i realise dat i gt a lot of neoprints..haha..of course alot ishx take wif the two bitch pple..i dun tink we will take it animore..well..wadeva..i dun care..dat time i had a feeling dat e neoprint we tak during youth dae ishx e last one..indeed it ishx..haix..i hate them to e core..stupid pple...then oso bbuyy rubber band..hw to sae..of course nice nice one lahx..kekex..
nxt fri me bro chalet..excited..cos i can see sumone..*sSsHhH..* not goin to sae..hope can see...ahhhhh...heex..oh ya..gt cdc on dat dae..dun worry..i will tel wu lao shi myself..dun need u all to er ren xian gao zhuang! humph! anywae i dun plan to buy anyth for my bro..dun even noe wad to buy..haha..cos we two nt so gd wad..then wan me buy things i oso duno lahx..i tink i buy le let him put it aside onli..so wad for i buy?haha...
n tis little denise arhx..aiyo..spent 40 dollars on anime..n she ccannt seem to have the money to buy pencil box wif me..though she will still go wif me..haix..guess i will buy myself n she sees..poor little her..haix..anywae..i look forward to my whole new pencil box! heex..finalli i can throw awae the one dat me n the two bitches have the same one..*pui* anywae i will still keep the doggiex..it's cute..such a waste to throw it jus cos of them..i smart..i will keep it..bt todae denise attempt murder on it..haha...my poorr doggiex..must protect it..
i wan a camera fone asap..realise hw much i like to tak pics! bt if i buy a new fone..me old fone all those memorable messages will be erased..hw...i she bu de ma...then esp *her* msg..all so sweet past memories..cant bear to leave it..help!..hmmmm..hu noes hw to solve tis prob anywae?can help me?pls...
oh..xin yan! gd luck to ur physics test tmr worx..i didnt go out wif u cos of tis..so mus do well..haha...anywae..gd luck..kekex..n waiting for the chance to go out wif u..
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why the script gt so mani probs again
why i need to change it..
why shld i
aft hearing so mani things bout wad they tink i will do to cdc
why mus i contribute
when pple dun take me into serious consideration
idun wan to contribute
stop calling me to change the script
i dun wan
i dun have animore ideas
believe it or nt
my ideas are all used up
i gave my best
why mus prob keep arising..
wo dui cdc de xin yi jing si le
wo bu yao zai zuo shen me
i guess i wont do a gd job
wad's e use
they throw u aside aft the job ishx done
jus like nw
then cal me back when they r problem
i am nt a spare tyre
be it will it b a gd job i dun care
u wan e script u tak
dun wan
jus forget it
i dun mind nt seeeing my ju up on stage
i hate you!
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lost
lost
lost
i hate tis feeling
i duno wad m i sad for
i duno wad m i crying for
i duno
in my heart
it's blank
my mind
controlled me
bt i lose control sumhw
i wana cry out loud
bt i've nth to cry for
emotions
i hate it
it overwhelm u so much dat u cant believe it
i feeling totalli
lost.
wad m i so sad for
wad...nt even i noe
will anyone noe
i finalli watched finish hzgg3 le..well the plot ishx far more exciting to me..bt it means more tears..i guess tis the first series dat i cried so hard for..i duno why i cry..bt the plot ishx simply too touching even till e last episode..it touched my heart..melt my heart..it's nice..bt i guess ishx oso cos of tis..i feeling so lost..i neva had felt so uncontrolled b4...
i guess i shld nt doubt myself animore..they two r truly bitches..they betrayed me..finalli i get everyth clear..cm..it's no use paraphrasing wad they said..wad for..since they said it so crudely..dun blame me for anyth..since u all tink dat the whole th i m in w wrong..let it be..bt stop spreading arnd..nt bcos of wad they will tink of me..jus dat i feel dat u re are realli pathetic..need to fight n spread things so hard n make up stories till pple will ke lian u all..bitch ishx e ritex word for two of you..i alwaes tot dat i m in e wrong for my attitude n others..bt aft hearing wad u all did behind my back..jus get lost..
listen gd
WHETHER OR NOT I GO TO CDC ISHX NONE OF UR BUSINESS U ALL DUN HAVE TO SPREAD THINGS ARND LIKE FIRE..IF I DUN WAN TO GO CDC..I WONT DRAG OTHERS NOT TO GO..I WONT CALL THEM NT TO GO..I WONT MAKE UR ATTENDANCE MORE PATHETIC THAN EVA..BT IF OTHERS DUN WANNA GO COS I DUN GO,DAT'S NT MY PROB,BLAME IT ON U ALL LAN4 LEADERSHIP OR RATHER POPULARITY..DUN PUSH ALL E BLAME TO ME..N COMPLAINT TO OTHERS BEHIND ME,BE IT ISHX TEACHERS OR THE EX COM.IF U ALL GT E GUTS,SAE IT IN FRONT OF ME,DUN NEED U ALL TO HIDE IT..I WILL STILL NOE IT ANIWAE..SO JUS SHUT UP N CONFRONT ME FOR ALL U ALL WAN..WO BU XI HAN ZUI HOU ZHE FEN YOU QING HUI BU HUI SHI BAI,YING WEI WO KAN TOU LE NI MEN.
no one can tok to me bout patching up wif tis two bitches nw..i will neva..i see tru them..wad they did behind me..i underestimate their ability...xia4 jian4...i spell it very clear here...if u all wana continue toking behind my back..n try to make up stories which wont happen,dun blame me..i will have my revenge..u all will have ur retribution...wad she sae ishx ritex...sum pple in cdc r jus applying their acting skills in real life....cos as ur acting skills get beta,they will make use of their acting skills to let u fell into their trap..indeed i believe nw..pple in cdc are acting so much nw..make me realli regret to contribute...
anywae..thanks for telling me..u make me see tru them..n oh..if those bitches gt cum my blog..pls get ur books off my house asap..u noe hu u r...i give u a wk..if u dun cum n clear..i will jus throw them awae..i give u a chance..if u dun wan it..too bad..ur books pollute my rm..wif all those awful marks dat u scored in all those tests..
dun blame me for putting it so crudely..u make me do it..if u all can,i oso can do it..let's see wad will happen...
i dun mind losing wad i have nw..as long as i can work towards my goals..u all cant ctrl me by all those words dat came out frm all ur stinky mouth...
i maybe crude bt ask urselves wad had u all done..nth against ur conscience?i doubt so...ask urselves wad things had u all done..u all can lie to everyone..bt u all neva noes..hu neva fall for ur trap for ur lies..shut up...
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my eyes r getting smaller n smaller..kekex..well..since i came hm..i have been stuck wif hzgg..it's sooooooo nice...well bt i cried for nearly every episode..the plot ishx simply to touching for me to stop my tears.i love hzgg3! it rockz! heex.. pw mummy i realli wana help u..bt u wont cum my hse..so too bad le lohx..nvm..watch tv! bt have to resist the temptation which i failed to do so..heex...
well neva go for 2gr bbq aft ben keepp calling me to go..haix sorry lahx..if perhaps i see *her* msg earlier i will go..saddiex..hmmmm..
todae nth happen much..e time go very fast cos free periods..kekex..bt hmwk ishx piling up..i wont do it until i watch finish my hzgg3! yeahx! *wonders hw mani more times i will cry*
my flu still cuming..grr..nxt wk whole week will be stuck in e hist rm..hw! help! my will get more sick there..grr...
tmr gt cdc n goin out! yeahx...gota buy sum stuff to pamper myself as hzgg 3 vcds dun need buy le..wad shld i buy.....hmmmmm..
anywae i guess tis my shortest entry..cos i wana con my hzgg3! tata...*here i cums*
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arghh..dwn wif flu again..duno hw mani times in tis year..i sick due to flu..n even had a fever..grr..then a maths test on wed lohx..tue was so sick dat i cant study..was so worried..bt in e end..the amaths test was easy..prays hard i wont make any careless mistakes..
then during wed..for nearly all lessons..i was so sick dat i kept lying dwn on e table to slp..luckily my teachers neva scold..sorriex..nt dun wan to listen to u all..too sick to listen le..
todae spent e morn doin hmwk..cant believe dat the time i spent on my script ishx more than hmwk..grr..haix..hope the script will turn out well n b accepted..i put in lotx of efforts le lehx..*cross fingers*
i so jealous..pw mummy n denise can go bk fair..i stuck at hm...cant go out cos sick n my hmwk plus script..humph..grr..i wan goo...haix...me hzgg oso *poo*
fri gt 2gr bbq..wondering wana go nt..cos 7pm v late lehx..n go hm oso v hard..moreover i will see 3 of them..it will b so damn awkward..n i ask other pple dat i noe well too..they nt goin..so perhaps i dun go lahx..dun wish later the atm so awkward..haix..though i wan bbq wif other 2gr peeps..bt since at least i noe she goin..dun feel like goin..it's tmr..how..haix..forget it..if bbq..still need ask mummy nt to cook.plus i sick..dun think mum will allow..haix..duno lahx..grr...
one more dae to hol..i so excited..at least dun have to go sch..although need go for elit supplementary classes which totalli destroy my hols plan bt as long as it's elit..it shld b nice..kekex..
bt well..oso gt cdc...n ms chan neva cfm wad time will end..so i guess it will overlap to e time cdc starts...bt well no choice..i will choose to stae wif lit...lala =P
well,heard sum stuff bout them again..bt as usual i wont sae anyth..unless they tell me themselves..will e misunderstanding get deeper..i duno..n i dun wish to..haix..nvm...
oh ya gt bac report bk too..though i noe bout everyth b4hand..kekex..even theirs i oso noe..well..satisfied..though it's nt gd..bt at least tried my best n improve..realise dat w/o esplanade my marks r much much beta...well..perhaps i cant balance..hmm...hw bout nxt yr drama nitex..reconsidering..i wont give up my studies for cdc..neva..:P
anywae..ms teo will nt b teaching us bio..sad sad..i like her lotx..she has tried her best to be a gd bio teacher..though at first...frm nearly no one likes her n all types of sarcastism about her to todae..i felt dat she ishx more than a teacher..i wan her teach me bio..haix..bt well wad can i sae..will miss her i guess..anywae she cut the sheep's heart during the 2nd bio lesson..for us too touch n see..well..i touched..i felt no big deal lehx..why pple feel so gross bout it..bt well i nt being saddistic kaex..jus feel dat nth so afraid wad..moreover even if we feel sorriex for e sheep,we cant do anyth..unless u turn into a vegetarian..which ishx so impossible for kids nwadaes...well..i touched n feel it..kekex..no feelings lahx..bt well i set my goals le..either b a teacher or a doc..though i tink teacher more suitable..bt i wan b a doc cos i wan save lifes..like the doc hu saves my mum life... :)
todae nitex will b filled wif tv..lala..so happi...heex..neva felt so relax..kekex..tata for nw..
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well went sch
as expected
alot of pple neva cum n sum were tired plus sick
realli pity them
they r realli sooo tired
haix
n poor pw mummy
her eyes were so lifeless n she even said her eyes swelled
n well that stupid hist rm was hunted i tink'
haha
cos when me n pw mummy go in
guess wad
my nose was kanna stuck n it's hurts
n well pw gt a flu
bt aft dat i was okiex bit
n wif little sick mummy sitting bside me
i doubt so..
i hate flu
this whole yr ishx dwn wif it
it beta nt cum again
bleahx
anywae hope pw mummy recover soon worx
bt lookin at the wae she walked hm wif me
so energetic
i guess there's nth wrong wif her le lahx..
heex..
hmmm..did e hologram aft sch todae
it was kinda exciting perhaps
bt i dun mind dat much bout the outcum bahx
matrix lik nth to learn like dat
duno lehx
i even watch hzgg 3 ytd
for bout 5 to 6 hrs
which i seldom give up my study for it
hmmm
bt i m bored by matrix!
n my parents r realli weird sumtimes
hahaha
well of course in e positive sense
when i watch vcd they sae i watch so long then my hmwk do le mahx
when i studi till siaox..
mugging whole dae
they call me watch tv
isnt tis contradicting?
*shrugs*
i dunno whether e script turn out well
dun dare to ask
dun dare to noe the ans
was anxious
cos i realli put in effort in tis script
hmmm
hope
haix..
zhan lao shi called me
in e end was jus he cant find the file
tot will b sum comments
in e end
nth
haix
gotta do my emaths n 12th nitex
losing my concentration durin elit
why..
hmmmm...
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getting emotional
no wae
i mus stop myself
i cant get on tis wae
well
i will jus cry for no reason
n to those hu i vent my uncontrolled anger on
sincere apology
the photonics workshop was fun
though we didnt manage to make the hologram
cos the co band they all are drumming
blasting
so well.the vibrations create
ishx enuff to make our holograms
produce a blluuuurrrrrrrr image
so decided to do on another dae
learn lotx of things during the workshop
nice nice
oh have u ever wondered
y the sky ishx red when u see it
during sunrise n sunset
while the sky ishx blue in noon?
a food for thought
heex
was discussing wif ruth pw mummy bout the jc we wan to go
i m stuck
i use to aim for hzjc
bt nw
considering dat my passion for cdc has faded
i may nt wan to continue acting
like wad xy saes
which i totalli agree
sumtimes acting has becum sumone's part n parcel of life
dat she can act so weelll in front of u
n u neva noe wad ishx she tinking at a moment
which betrayal takes place
n all those turbulent events
start cuming in
so i start to see cdc wif a neg pt of view
cos
i m face wif the same prob
the closests frenx(of course nt toking bout those gd frenx i have frm 3BN)
they act so much in front of u
dat u duno wad's the truth behind
which totalli freak me out
so bac to topic
i still duno wad jc to go
hw....
the ju ben ishx getting frm bad to worse
zhan lao shi comments are demoralising
i felt like giving up
shld i?
can anyone tel me?
i dun feel like continue
well...dat's all
oh ya
alot of pple r in sec3 camp nw
hope u all enjoying urself worx
n pw mummy
hope tmr u wont collapse w/o coffee*prays for u*
i mean in the positive sense
nt trying to suan u
heex
sec 3 BN~~~~~
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i m moody
jus moody
ain't in e ritex mood for anyth
bt well
nt dat bad mood aft spending sum time wif mum n dad =)
bt well gt a stupid person
blah
blah for all u wan
jus sum freak
hu hav to hide identity
so sad
jian bu de ren
too bad
anywae IT'S a cur anywae
so well
let IT tok for all ITS wan
dat blah person
is a woodcock near the gin
jus a trout
bleahx..
went cdc
well
my ju ben didnt sounds well
wad do u tink
when i have to rush it out
for jus 2 daes
wiff 23 scenes in total
i m tired
i wan to give up
i nearly told zhan lao shi
dat i give up
bt lookin at hw he hopes to continue
n hw he hopes dat tis ju ben can b a success
i m mute
i seen to b lost
i duno
wad i wan
shld i?
well i give it my last shot
if it still fails
too bad
why
when i tried my best
it didnt turn out well
wad has went wrong
of course
i do hope the ju ben will be chosen
bt i cant seems to give my best
nearly cried out
cos i m realli tired of writing so mani scenes
plus
when i m nt a com member at all
gotta do the ju ben
plus a maths matrices
bt as wad i told pw mummy
i m slacking
m i..
haix...
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the bits n pieces of my life seemed to have lost sumhw..
w/o me knowing it at all..
onli cum to realise
i can nv find this pieces again
the jigsaw puzzle dat was bout to b finished
can nv b finished nw
i cant see the pic anymore
it's jus a dream left
jus wad i tot to be
bt nt in reality
why mus i care for sum pple whu doesnt deseerve it at all
why do i feel e pain n nt them
why mus i put on a brave front
as if nth has happened at all
when sumth did
hw wld u feel
if u were made to live alone all of a sudden
losing the pillar of ur life
my world darkens wif no doubt
bt...
they doesnt give u a chance to explain urself at all
u r deemed to b lik dat
nth can change it
i care for him
bt he chose to keep things to himself
w/o giving us a space to talk
w/o giving me a chance to care
w/o giving me an opportunity to support
n in e end
it's a tragedy btw we two
cos we cant understand wad each feels
u can nv get wad u get when u put in so much efforts
nt at all
i dun wan to lose anyth i once hav
cos...
w/o doubt
i can sae
i did try my best
in wadeva i do
wadeva i hav
i tried to treasure
bt u turned me dwn
then in e end
u sae
it's over...
wad's e meaning..
i duno..
dun give me a riddle to guess
i neva noes wad u all feel
bt u all chose to tel others
hu does nt have the right to noe
u all chose to do tis
wad m i left wif
nth bt nt even a chance to explain
is is fair
can u all tink bout it
oh
i forgt
u all wont
cos in ur heads
u all tink dat u all e alwaes in e ritex
i shld nt care
bt even if i realli does
does it concern u all
i guess nt
cos it neva cross ur minds
wad we went tru
instead it's all wad u tink
him
give me a chance
can u..
eva eva understand
no....
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ahaha...yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!! i m so happii...hahaha...of course firstly ishx chi olevels finalli finish le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i m so happppppppiiiiiiiiiiii....haha...cos my torturing daes r over..well bt i wont wan to sae hw much i will fare..cos i tried my best le...spending two wks wif chi ishx so..i m ma mu bout it le...bt since i gave my best...even it means nt an A1..i have no regrets...bt i dun like e fact dat..well i guess i wont sae..bt pw mummy will noe me best..it gives me a type of haix..nvm...
anywae thanks to zaylene for making my mood to e highest!!!!!!!!!! cos she can lend me the HZGG vcds...which means i wont need to buy...heex...was still in e clazrm todae askin ard hu noes where sell e cheapest vcds....haha...bt zay u change me..haha..thanks lot..happiex~~~n tian2 can lend me the 1st n 2nd one...anywae i watch it for so mani times...bt i m totalli in it..heex...
well i wont tok of those unhappi ths...i wan tis entry to b a happiex one...cum to tink of it...i seldom have a happiex entry..
oh ya..melissa..i still tink dat u 're lame...heex..=P nth can change tis fact le..oops..heex...NOBODY!!! haha...u shld noe wad it means..
bt tmr still need go cdc...haix...seriously...i dun feel like goin..cos pw mummy n denise goin out lohx..then i cant..sobs..haix..bt i guess if i dun go..wu lao shi will bomb my phone..heex...so wad can i do...anywae..denise will wait for me to buy pencil box for nxt yr!!!!!!! so gd of her to wait..heex..thanks lotx worx..happiex...bt she will buy e accessories first..ah well...i wan go out..rather than stuck in the stupid hui suo tinking n talking bout ju ben..i like to write ju ben..too bad..my feelings for cdc aint the same animore...i dun feel like contributing..bt i guess like s wad chor ming saes...its a form of responsibity...well i jus dun wan to be called as sumone hu ishx nt responsible at all when i m a councillor...i need to fulfill my duties ba...hu noes..sumone out there may betray u again..talking behing ur back when she acts as if nth happens..*shrugs* n hu put me in tis special grp..haix...n fancy calling special grp to be included in e open hse..i tot e fact dat i was included ishx cos of writing ju ben..where in earth does it have link wif open hse..wu lao shi state it so clearly lohx...ni men lai de mu di shi wei le xie ju ben...hear alreadi oso sianx..anywae i gt photonics wkshop on dat dae..n dat cur calls me bac aft 12pm..duhx...i guess i wont make it one lahx...one pm end lehx...my photonics certainly willl b long one lohx..dun care..i dun feel lik goin tooo...~~~lalallA~~
todae the sec 4s came bac..tak chi or higher chi too..ah....i manage to see sumone..heex.. =x
anywae dat time *he* called me..ask me hw to convert 6.75 to fraction..i was like duhx..u cal for tis purpose..bt nevertheless..i still feel happi..=)
n todae forgt to bring water bottle back...hope it wont get lost..cos it's rather ex lohx...n it's in old blk..i wonder if they did shift the tables todae..pray nt *fingers crossed* cos if it get lost..i die le lohx...ahhhhhhhh...so careless of me...
heex..practicalli i slack till nw since i came bac...heex..though i noe gt sum stuff waiting for me i still refuse to get off...bleahx...lalalala...anywae two more wks to hols..looking forward...~~~~~~~
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