todae's celebration was kinda boring..duno...i oso neva go care lahx...jus let things b...dun feel lik doin bout it at all..perhaps wad mel sae ishx ritex...i did my best..if other pple think dat i neva did it well..i dun have to care bout their remarks..cos i m me...bt well...i do mind sumtimes esp when i realli put efforts in it..n if dat person ishx very close wif me...it make me more upset...bt aft wad she said..i feel dat it's ritex lahx...e more i care bout it..e more upset i'm..moreover...pple oso wont care dat much bout ur feelings..so y care...
aft dat hui yi came n find me...well..ya told her bout the things happening recently..well...she advised to tak the initiative to patch...bt well i'm sick of the stress created due to us bein together..sick of it...we r together for the sake of bein so..it's so fake n menaingless...n we gt our own life n things to b busy wif nw..so well..perhaps i m stubborn or wad...bt i has alwaes been the one takin the first move..i dun wan to do so animore...hui yi ask me one qn," zhen de mei you wan hui de yu di mahx?" i was totally stunned at tis qn at first..cos it's seeems so...i duno hw to sae...bt i gt me emotional...bt well i replied dat"ya, mei you wan hui de yu di" cos i realli dun feel lik we have to b together..i have my own life..bt she told mi bout her 2 frens hu died...well..i guess...i duno...i jus dun feel lik taking the first move..i will onli tak the first move for cat..cos i deserve it..i m in e wrong...i m willing to apologise...bt well apparently she ishx nt willing to listen to me...haix..
then we went sing post wif all her frenx..all guys...ex students frm chung cheng...it was kinda lame n fun..wif her fren such a lamer...wif mani lame jokes..haha...n francis...quite lame too...bt well...i enjoy e trip overall..though at first..i wanted to go CA...cos recently very dwn by lotx of things...wan go there..to find back myself...my memories...my past..i wan time to stop...go back...i dun wan to live in tis future...okiex fine...i wan *him* back...i wan our memories back...i wan my guardian back...i wan her back...i wan my past back...bt hu m i to sae dat?they gt the lives of their own...well..bt i chose to b here...nt moving at all...i wld rather to b oneself in the past...than wif tis unknown future...dat i can neva b happi...neva..cos i lose my grip..i lose my love..i lose my passion...i lose everyth..including myself..i wan to find it back...whixh ishx all there..CA...where i find my soul...
cu ci jian bian dao xiang zhi xiang ai..wo zhen ren xin san qu?
left at bout twelve...hmmmm...i hope to go out wif huiyi again...sry lehx...neva go walk walk wif u..cos i wan go home..sorry...
well i dun wish to sae anyth regarding quarrel..i dunno...i jus dun wish to voice anyth...i noe dat if i sae my feelings out..the more misunderstandings we will have...suan4 le...i wld rather bottle it than anyth...
hmmm...my throat hurts...duno y..guess too much heaty food...hmmm..or izzit denise.....ahem..heex...she will noe wad i'm tokin bout..haha...if she eva c tis...kekex...tmr hol...bt still gt egeo test on thurs...told ehx...i duno hu's dat..bt huiyi fren hu walk wif me to the bus stop..bout our batch's humanities...quite bad...well..his batch was v gd...in e sense beta...duno wad's the root of the prob..perhaps our batch lik to si du shu...lik wad he sae..duno...haix...egeo...grrrr.........scared scared...wan finish me chem first..cos tmr certanli keep mugging for geo...
31 daes to EOY...jia you...heex...hui yi u too...ur prelims worx..bt dun b too stress up..kekex...
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