well todae was realli a disappointing n sad dae..ms khairani refused to c us or take our sorriex gift....we ran to e staff rm straight aft sch bt noe dat she was nt in..then james told us dat she ishx in IT resource rm 3..so we ran all e wae back to new block 4th floor..hopin dat she will c us..as expected she refused to open e door...we tried to knock on e door several times bt to no avail...shu han climbed up to c if she ishx realli inside tru e curtains..n ya she was..in the end we pry open the window using keys..n we shouted sorry ms khairani...she still refused to sae anyth or c us..well we dropped e gift inside n those sweets dropped out..so in e end we took everyth back..we said twice sorry...she still refused..then there ishx one eng teacher n she has the keys..she opened the door for us n asked if ms khairani wana c us..well we went in..n we sae sorry again..she dashed out of the rm tru e front door immediately..we sae sorry n sorry..she walked wo turning back..then jin juan wanted to give her e present..she shouted a firm " no thanks"...every1 returned to claz...lookin dwn n hurtful..well we still have to con wif our collage..bt a lot of pple left..so little manpower..sobs..haix...our clax...hmmm...
sum pple said ms khairani cried...as she kept bending low when we were peeping..i guess she noes sumhw..bt wad i heard was she was nt angry wif us..bt hurt..realli hurt..wad i guess was she perhaps expect too much frm us n was realli disappointed by e fact dat we as 15yrs old teens still whine tis wae..bt well we realli apologise..wad can we do further..we r still growing kids...we r still learning..it feel so sad to c her so upset over wad happen...frm wad i noe..she has jus been in cchms for 1 n a half yrs..izzit...anywae i guess tis ishx e first time she ishx realli so so angry..moreover ishx her form clax...n the best clax in e level..so perhaps she ishx real disappointed..i oso duno..i wish to noe n i guess dat's wad e claz wana noe too...well...i tink wad melissa said was sumhw ritex..perhaps...it ishx diff on her part as it seem dat we were forcing her to forgive us within one dae..i duno...bt haix..it's jus so sad...anywae we gt ss on mon..hw r we goin to face each other?will she cum..i hope so...cos tis awkwardness cant go on 4eva like tis moreover she ishx our form..
well e collage was disastrous too...ms khairani face was distorted n the colour were nt matching at all..cant stand the pic..finalli aft shu han sat dwn n do it..everyth turn out well..i wonder wad's ms khairani thinking of us nw..will she accept n love tis collage..or bring back sad memories..perhaps she "love" us too much...dat we disappointed her greatly..haix...sad..
on e bus i had a v dumb tinkin..i was tinkin if we blocked the front door jus nw n kneel dwn..will she forgive us?or will shr go off the same wae..wad mus we do to appease her anger..forgiveness ishx all we ask for..though it ishx onli a simple word..it's hard to b given...
hmmmm...well my sch work seems to b falling..e results...i felt so uselsss nw..i meant when we had e esplanade performance i can do it..nw w/o it which means i gt more time..n yet my sch work results sucks to e core..i feel so dumb dumb dumb..weakling soul..why why why..i spent every hr in my sch work...to achieve results..n yet wad i saw was jus nth in return..it's so unfair..i feel so....i duno...i feel lik hw i wish i neva live in tis world...it's so stressful..yet the more i work for sumth..e more i failed in it...so dwn...dumb minmin..useless one..grrr....fuming mad wif myself....stupid...
i feel so.......anywae...pf did ask me about e tokin..well i find dat's it's useless nw..i feel dat since we have broke up..let it b...i meant since we cant withstand those obstacles..holding on ishx so dumb..n they seem to nt showing a single sense of concern nor care bout it..y i shld alwaes b the one to initiate a patch when they dun give a single concern bout it..let th b..anywae their th ishx nt my business nw..they can make th turn tis wae i oso can...i'm nt dat dependent on them anywae...they r jus a speck of dust........let th fade as it's totally useless nw..
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